Who Needs a Man?

I just love the way Japanese people think. And yes, this is sold on Japan's version of QVC.
-10-key princess

Charting Your Favorite Song

Every morning, I scour the internet to see what's going on in the land of pop culture. And every morning, I come across a lot of weird stuff, which is near and dear to my heart. It's like my fuel.

This morning was no different. It seems that someone created a group on Flickr where members can upload their own song charts. Now you're probably asking yourself what a song chart is, so let me provide an example:


If you still don't know what a song chart is, it's a chart that conveys a song title. A lot of them are Excel-based, but they don't have to be. In case you're stumped, the above song chart is "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite. Get it? There are tons more here.

I haven't checked all of the song charts out yet, but I'm guessing there has to be a few that William Hung has belted out in his day. And if not, I'm sure he's practicing them for an upcoming karaoke contest.

-JT

Ready, set, freeze!

You may remember how last month, an improv group staged a pants-less commuting day on Chicago trains and buses. Looks like the group, which goes by Improv Everywhere, is at it again. Over 200 Improv Everywhere Agents froze in place at the exact same second for five minutes in the Main Concourse of Grand Central Station in New York City. No joke - check out the clip below.



These guys are brilliant. How freaked out would you have been had you been walking through Grand Central Station with all kinds of people just frozen in place? Not even a performance by William Hung would have gotten them to move. Actually, that's probably not true.

For more of Improv Everywhere's shenanigans, including what they did at a Starbucks on Tuesday, click here.

-JT

Can a Mormon Win This Race?

We all know Mitt Romney's out of the race, but what about David Archuleta?



This 17-year old kid from - you guessed it - Murray, Utah is "the one to beat" this season. I like him. And not just because I'm Mormon. If that were the case, I would have liked Carmen Rasmussen, Jon Peter Lewis, or even jump on the Brooke White bandwagon.

Who's your favorite for American Idol Season 7?

-SM

O Canada

Can anyone guess what this is?(Hint... It's Paul trying to be patriotic - amid designing centrifuges and while patiently trying to explain the very basic principles of physics to me, no less.)

-10-key princess

"Casse-toi alors, pauvre con"

If the French didn't embrace their President Nicolas Sarkozy to this point, this probably won't help either:

Man in the crowd: Ah non, touche-moi pas (No, don't touch me)
Sarkozy: Casse-toi alors (Get lost, then)
Man in the crowd: Tu me salis (You dirty/disgust me)
Sarkozy: Casse-toi alors, pauvre con (Get lost, idiot/dumbass/bastard)

This was in the middle of a meet-and-greet at the annual French farm show last weekend. Can you just imagine President Bush saying something like this to some random dairy farmer in Wisconsin? Hilarious. I've already watched this clip over 10 times and I can't stop laughing.

-10-key princess

Lost in Translation

I'm a first generation American. My mum's Bri-ish and my dad's from Israel. It's an unusual mix to say the least. I've had many interesting conversations and countless anecdotes over the years, so allow me to share one with you that I recently was telling a friend about.

A few years ago, my sister was in town from D.C. visiting my parents, and so I went up to my parents' house as well. We were all sitting around talking when my mom starts telling my sister about what an old friend of hers is up to. My sister lost touch with the girl, but since my mom's still friends with the girl's mom, she was filling my sister in. It was nothing too great, from what I remember, and my sister's response was, "Oh well. She gets an 'A' for effort."

The conversation moves on, we're talking about other things, when maybe two minutes later, my dad, looking at my sister all quizzically, interrupts with, "Wait. Doesn't effort start with an 'E'?"

My sister, my mom and I about lost it right there. We were cracking up. My dad didn't understand what was so funny. When we finally were able to catch our breaths, we tried explaining things, but I think he ended up more confused.

In all fairness, my dad has a pretty good grasp of the English language. And his question was valid. But what makes the story priceless, at least in my opinion, is the fact that he waited so long to ask the question. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he was trying to figure out how "'A' for effort" could make sense. Poor guy.

-JT

Happiness is a Journey . . . Not a Destination

Thanks to my dear sweet aunt for mailing me a sweet card along with this poignant quote by Father Alfred D'Souza tucked inside. She intuitively knew I needed a big mail hug more than ever this week. I love you, Auntie L!

-10-key princess

How to be a man

Well, now that we learned about the rules how women should live by, why not check out the other side?

I've Inherited a Book.

Last weekend, my sister casually pulled me aside and handed me this. That's right. A tattered, old, worn copy of "The Rules."

I didn't know whether to be offended or to laugh in her face.

For those who don't know, this book made headlines back in the mid to late-90s. It's all about how to play the "game" of dating, and apparently, by following these so-called "rules," you should be able to land a quality guy.

Did she actually bequeath this to me to imply that I'm a whiny girl who actually accepts Saturday night date invitations after Wednesday (rule #7)? Someone who doesn't get that staring at men or talking too much can be a turn off (rule #3)? Someone who thinks dating married men is acceptable (rule #23)? Puh-LEASE.

I may not remember exactly how the game is played, but I haven't forgotten that if a guy isn't interested enough to plan in advance or make the effort to call, he's just not that into me. I GET IT!!!

Dear sister, just because I'm not married like you (yet - and by choice, mind you!) doesn't mean that I'm a helpless, needy, clingy single girl. I really appreciate your vote of confidence, though. :P

This book is going out with my weekly recycling.

-10-key princess

Cop's 3rd Wife = Murder Victim

Kathleen Savio's death has been ruled a homicide. I'm sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions, but how has Drew Peterson not been charged with murder yet?

• This guy is 53. His fourth wife (Stacy, who's missing) is 23.
• They met when she was still a teenager as a motel clerk.
  
• He was still married to his third wife, Kathleen Savio, while courting Stacy (then still a teenager.)
• Kathleen was found dead in an empty bathtub with a gash wound to her head just before their divorce settlement hearing. Drew was first on the scene. It was ruled an accidental drowning.
• There was a life insurance policy of $1 million on his third wife.
• Kathleen's body was exhumed to investigate further. In the meantime, a local minister reveals that Stacy told him in confidence that Drew came forward and told him that he killed Kathleen.
• Drew's stepbrother claims he was paid $2,000 to help Drew move a blue barrel, warm to the touch, the day Stacy went missing. Drew claims his stepbrother is mentally unstable.
• Drew says in an interview that Stacy left him (and their two children) for another man with a bikini and passport. As if he had the chance to inventory everything and declare that those were the only two things missing.
• In a Today Show interview, Drew laughs when he's asked what he would tell Stacy if she could hear him right now. "Come home," he laughs. (This is actually a really interesting take on how he's perceived among 300 Americans, men and women, by Mediacurves.com)
  
• And now, today's news, that Kathleen was murdered. I wonder who dunnit?
  

But ladies, if after all of this suspicious behavior you still decide you want some one-on-one time with Bolingbrook's most notorious ex-cop, you can still call Chicago's WJMK-FM to petition they bring back their contest, "Win a Date with Drew Peterson." I mean, who wouldn't want a chance to be his 5th wife? Though, I'm assuming it would help if you were underage and unable to defend yourself. Sorry 10-key princess, but it looks like you're out of the race. After all, you have a Taser.
-SM

Cupid must love dem der sliders

Last week, I let you all in on a secret Valentine's Day hot spot - a candlelit dinner at White Castle. Very romantic. In a "do you want to split a crave case or just go with the sack of ten?" sort of way.

Little did I know that things would progress so fast. It turns out that this past Valentine's Day, three couples were married at a White Castle in Columbus, Ohio. Yes, married. As in pronounced husband and wife. With a flower girl throwing salt and pepper packets. Seriously.


But wait, there's more. A local radio station that broadcast the ceremony live picked up most of the expenses. I guess if you're having your wedding ceremony at the Castle to begin with, you're probably short on cash.

-JT

You can't spell lick without ick

Thith lickable Welch'th juith ad found in People magathine ith deliciouth. Abtholutely deliciouth! Tho what if magathines are pathed along from one perthon to another? Who careth about hygiene? It’th juth...tho tasthy. And yeth, my tongue got thtuck to the glue from the inthert. Obviouthly. But it thtill tathe tho good!

I can't wait to thee one for pitha. Or how about a thteakhouth? Mmmm - and ithe cream. Lickable adth for ithe cream and other detherts would be thuch a treat to find in a magathine.

-JT

Science Saturday IV

Can scientists dance?

No.

This is another edition of simple answers for simple questions.*,**,***

*(This isn't to say scientists don't have fun!)
**(The author, JB, is actually an acquaintance of mine. We played Celebrity and ate Korean pancakes together two summers ago in Berlin. He's a real swell guy.)
***(I acknowledge this post is a blatant rip-off of some by Atrios, but he just as well may regularly rip off other people by doing posts like this.)

Writers Strike's Biggest TV Casualty

24 fans, we're going to have to wait for another year before Jack Bauer is back. I'm officially going into mourning for the next 24 hours. At least we'll have Presidential Election coverage to last us through November. But it's really too bad Jack's not on the ballot. :P

On a serious note though, how do you think violent shows like 24 have influenced mainstream American society with regard to events like the NIU shootings? Do potential killers look at characters like Jack Bauer and think they can save the world by setting up a few perimeters, knocking down a few doors, and shooting a few rounds? I mean, is it really that difficult to separate fact from fiction?

Honest questions. I'd like some honest responses.
-10-key princess

Shooting on NIU Campus

This happened not even an hour away from where I grew up. Some guy dressed in all black opened fire in a classroom filled with 150+ students at Northern Illinois University today. 17 injuries. Five fatalities, as of 7 p.m. Killer pulled the trigger on himself.

I'm appalled. I feel like the only thing I hear these days are horrifying incidents like Virginia Tech, Columbine, or the Von Maur in Omaha. And now at NIU??

What's your opinion on gun control? How do we keep guns out of the hands of crazy criminals while still protecting our Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms?

-10-key princess

If the Castle is a-rockin' don't come a-knockin'

It's already almost 3:00 and you still haven't made reservations for your Valentine's Day date tonight. You frantically jump on the phone, calling everywhere from your local thai spot to the five-star steakhouse. No dice - everything's booked. What ever will you do?

Fear not, all you romantics out there. White Castle is bringing back their Valentine's Day candlelight dinners at participating restaurants. Seriously.


As the website says, "Bring your significant other, moderately important friend, or a complete stranger for a candlelit, tableside feast." But don't think you can just waltz right in and get a table - they're taking reservations.

And if you're worried about looking cheap in front of your date, think again. Crave cases are expensive, especially if you want cheese on each of your sliders.

-JT

Who We Are

We have a readership! I've gotten a few random e-mails and comments from blog readers asking us who we are. I thought we could do a little Q&A to appease our (small but growing) fan base. (This reminds me of those slam books we used to do in middle school. Does anyone else remember those?)

In the meantime, here's a bit about us: 10-key princess, Janos, JT, and SM (the Suburban Mommy).

Hit us with your best shot.


10-key princess








Janos







JT







SM





What's the best advice you've ever given?
10-kp: To my little brother: "Don't drop out of college, idiot."
Janos: Telling one of my high school best friends to quit being a waiter and get a real job. He became an engineer for Lockheed Martin 3 months later.
JT: "Um, guys. Guys. Guys!" (Said while pointing up in the air) to two of my friends sitting next to me in the bleachers during batting practice before a baseball game. They were being stupid, throwing peanut shells at each other. All of the sudden, thwack. The batter crushed a ball, and it was heading directly at them. They have no idea as they're still playing around, and the ball's getting closer. I start pointing in the air as I'm like, "Um, guys. Guys. Guys!" Finally, they realize I'm talking to them, look up, can't find the ball and just scatter. And about 2.438 seconds later, the ball comes crashing down right where one of them was sitting. Luckily for his future wife, whoever it may be, I was paying attention.
SM: I told my husband on 9/12/01 while working in the airline industry, "Look for a job IMMEDIATELY."

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
10-kp: Tahiti. They speak French. It's an island. Perfect.
Janos: Costa Rica. Imagine being a 2-hr drive from the Atlantic, the Pacific, mountains, rain forests, volcanoes, warm weather, and LOTS of bikinis.
JT: Australia. Kangaroos and koala bears. Enough said.
SM: Marin County, CA - or, my husband prefers Berkeley Hills. But that's too liberal for me.

What is your deepest fear?
10-kp: Clowns. Admit it. You're scared of Ronald McDonald, too.
Janos: Failing in front of people I know.
JT: Getting a papercut on my eye. Just writing that makes me shudder.
SM: That someone I know will get Alzheimer's.

If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?
10-kp: Dalai Lama, probably
Janos: There are so many...Pablo Casals is one of them.
JT: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The footprint he left on this world makes my life seem insignificant.
SM: My great-grandmother. I hear she was a great storyteller.

What is your favorite food?
10-kp: Pomegranates
Janos: Almost anything from any small hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant, preferably in Italy.
JT: A nice juicy steak. I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy.
SM: Louisiana Chicken Pasta, Cheesecake Factory - yum!

Favorite song today?
10-kp: No One - Alicia Keys (again, thanks, Philip)
Janos: Calling - The Clash
JT: Circus by Craig Cardiff
SM: It seems all I listen to is Little Einsteins classical selections these days

Do you have any pets?
10-kp: Not right now. I can barely keep my houseplant alive.
Janos: Not since I moved in 2005
JT: Define pets, please.
SM: Almost got a goldfish last night, but then decided to let a teenager adopt it. Was that a good idea? That poor goldfish.

What is the last book you read?
10-kp: Eat, Pray, Love. An Oprah book club book.
Janos: As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner
JT: Finding Fish. It's Antwone Fisher's autobiography.
SM: The Friday Night Knitting Club

Do you like to cook?
10-kp: Not for myself. But I like hosting dinner parties.
Janos: Not unless it's for people. I'd rather do dishes!
JT: Yes. When it's something I know how to make, at least.
SM: I prefer it if my husband cooks. He used to have a chef as a roommate. I don't mind cleaning in exchange for a good meal.

Are you married or single?
10-kp: Joyfully single, apparently.
Janos: Not married but "it's complicated"
JT: Married. I think.
SM: Married, almost 8 years

Do you have brothers and sisters?
10-kp: 2 older sisters, 2 younger brothers
Janos: One older brother and one younger sister
JT: An older sister. Living in DC. Trying to save the world. She's great.
SM: Only child

Do you live alone?
10-kp: Yes. But I have a Taser. And mace. And self-defense training. ;)
Janos: Sure.
JT: See the answer to "Are you married or single?"
SM: Husband and son live in the same house. Interesting concept, huh?

Have you ever lived in another country?
10-kp: Switzerland, France, Belgium, UK (briefly)
Janos: Once or twice. I am right now.
JT: No.
SM: Long term? No. I did a study abroad in Europe during college.

Have you ever met a famous person?
10-kp: (not including sports or concerts) David Schwimmer, Angelina Jolie, the Olsen twins, P. Diddy (or is he just Diddy now?), Tom Brokaw, Jay Leno, Angelica Huston, Vanessa Paradis, Jessica Biel, Christian Bale, Katie Holmes, Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Caroline Rhea, Clay Aiken, Barack Obama
Janos: Define "famous". On numerous occasions I've embarrassed myself in front of Nobel laureates. I once spent an afternoon with Hillary Hahn.
JT: Forest Whitaker. Jewel. Shigeru Miyamoto (created Super Mario Bros. and other Nintendo characters). The band Cheap Trick. Mayor Richard Daley. Robert Randolph and the Family Band. Hillary Clinton. Ms. Pac-Man. Toni Kukoc. Glen Phillips (solo artist and former lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket). Chris Brown. Jen Scheff and Andrew Firestone (from the Bachelor). Mario, Luigi and Zelda (the official ones, not people dressed up for Halloween). Warren Brown from Cake Love (Oprah loves him). Otis Wilson. The band Collective Soul. Harry Caray. The Marlboro Men. The band Good Charlotte. That's who I can think of right now. And yes, a lot of them are musicians and characters - it's one of the job perks.
SM: I did get my picture taken with Steve Young when he was a top QB... my other friend was also in the shot. I conveniently enlarged the pic and cut her out of it when I framed it. But his arm was around me, not her!

How old are you?
10-kp: 28
28
JT: 28
SM: 29

Are you religious?
10-kp: Christian
Janos: Not at all
JT: Jewish but not religious.
SM: Christian - Mormon/LDS

What's your political stance?
10-kp: Morally Republican.
Janos: I'm for human rights and well-educated decisions. I guess that makes me a left-libertarian communist fascist hippie, depending on how you interpret that.
JT: Democrat
SM: Moderate - Republican

What do you think you'll be doing five years from now?
10-kp: married, kids, house, a dog named Marley, Volvo station wagon, working, traveling
Janos: Hopefully married and beginning a career as a research professor
JT: Five years from now, I'll still working at an ad agency, although it's hard to say where. Wherever it is, I'll probably be sitting at my desk, notebook in hand, writing for whatever assignments I'm working on at the time. Oh, and I'm guessing I'll be scrambling to put a Valentine's Day present together.
SM: My son will be in 2nd grade! YEAH!!! And, yikes! I'll probably go back to work.

Are you a morning or night person?
10-kp: Late night, early morning. I tend to work best during those hours with few interruptions.
Janos: Night person
JT: I'd say I'm more a morning person than a night person, but I'm adaptable. Like a chameleon.
SM: Neither. I like my sleep too much.

Sunrises or sunsets?
10-kp: both
Janos: Sunsets
JT: Both. For different reasons.
SM: Sunsets on the beach in San Diego.

Do you like bananas?
10-kp: yes - they're easy to eat, peel, and clean up
Janos: Not particularly
JT: Yep. Especially after going on a run.
SM: They're the dream food for a mom. No prep. Convenient packaging.

Flip flops or sandals?
10-kp: flip flops
Janos: Sandals
JT: Flip flops. I mean, they flip and they flop. How could anything be better?
SM: Both, all year round.

Tell us about your first kiss.
10-kp: 8th grade after school... my "boyfriend" and I had been "going out" for about 2 weeks. He told his friends he wanted to kiss me, and they told my friends. So that's how we communicated that it was going to happen. We gave each other a peck by the science lab. Then, our parents came to pick us up. It was so hot. ;)
Janos: I was 16. It was at night on a big rock at orchestra camp with the cute redhead. She smelled like shaving creme and neither of us had ANY idea what we were doing.
JT: A bunch of us were at this one girl's house in eighth grade, and after getting bored with watching TV, we decided to be a little randy and play a little spin the bottle. This smoking hot eighth grade girl was up - I'm talking hairsprayed bangs and different colored braces - and when the bottle stopped spinning, it was pointing at me. So we both leaned in, over the center of the players' circle, and pecked the lightest, fastest kiss in the history of PDA. My heart never pounded as hard.
SM: Junior Prom. It was magical. Hold Onto the Nights. Richard Marx. Dancing.

What did you study in college?
10-kp: Finance, then MBA, and a bit of slacking off in between
Janos: Physical sciences and cello mostly, with some dabbling in government, econ, journalism, soviet history, and early cinema.
JT: Got my undergrad degree in advertising, and then I went to portfolio school to put my book together.
SM: International Studies, Global Economics. Totally useless these days with a toddler. Maybe when he goes to kindergarten, I can get him started with the concept of market equilibrium or at least some basic cultural geography.

The Earth is Round: Part 2

According to the genius writers at MSN (LiveScience.com), the orange incident is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak:

Your marriage is going to get worse, study says; Couples irritate each other more as they age

And among other obvious headlines today:
- Sometimes a good cry is the best medicine; An occasional dose of tears is often better than muting emotions
- Sad, self-absorbed shoppers spend more; Study: Even a temporary bout of the blues can lead to extravagant buys
- Why incest makes us so squeamish
- Happy? It may help keep you healthy; Those with upbeat moods have lower harmful 'stress' hormones, study says
- Bullying harms kids' mental health
- It's tough being a stepdad, study confirms
- Lonely people more likely to believe in God; Study: Those who feel isolated try to create social connections elsewhere

Wow. If these are the headlines in the news world these days, I think we're on our way to accomplishing every Miss Teen USA's dream: world peace.

-SM

Grammy Awards 2008 - Alicia Keys and John Mayer - No One

I happened to catch a few minutes of the Grammys last night and saw this performance. I thought it was so hot. JT thinks John Mayer looks epileptic though, and Janos says Alicia's earrings are huge. Whatever. It's still an amazing performance.

**EDITED** I just spoke with Philip tonight who said, "Hey, 10kp, I'm the one who told you about this song, like, a million years ago. How come I'm not mentioned once in your blog post? And while you're at it, why isn't there a head shot of me on your blog either?"

For the sake of time, I'll post his head shot later. But yeah, thanks Philip for re-introducing me to Alicia Keys. This is just a hot, hot song.

-10-key princess

Brevity is the soul of wit

So there's this guy I know, we'll call him "Kelvin," who might possibly be the MOST annoying emailer I've ever met in my life. I went to school with Kelvin, and he's a big talker. The kid has a gift of the gab. And unfortunately, this "gift" of his appears in every single one of his emails. He uses six times more words than a normal person does to say something. And I have no patience for that, especially because it's in an email.

Let me give you a little background before I share some of Kelvin's brilliance with you. We finished school at the end of 2007, and a handful of us from our quarter keep in touch and let everyone know what's going on through an email chain that's been going around. So a few weeks ago, the email chain starter girl sent out an email asking what everyone's up to. One of my friends responded first, and then Kelvin chimed in. With the longest email update ever. As I told 10-kp, I was so tempted to poke my eyes out while reading it, except that, if I had, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the stunning pictures of him that he attached at the end. And yes, I'm serious - he attached two iPhoto glamour shot pictures to the end of his email.

Here's an excerpt from Kelvin's email (edited slightly for anonymity):
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm trying not to lose my mind. One of my best buds has been living on my floor for the past week (he's looking for apts. and applying to our school), and he and I have been spending more than a healthy dose of time on our computers cooped-up inside my apartment. When my buddy and I spend that much time locked-up, my place starts to feel like a looney bin with padded walls. Put a couple of cameras in here and stream it over the internet and some TV exec would probably give us a reality show — or send us straight to a hospital. One or the other. They do say laughter is good for the soul and well being, but crying from laughter has been a regular occurrence. Not sure how healthy that is.

Other than advertising stuff, eating bananas and maintaining regular bowel movements, I've been searching for part-time restaurant/bar work in my neighborhood. I'm really hoping I can land something soon so I can have money to stay afloat during this looney tune transition. If I had a crazy Boy Band budget of money right now, this could potentially be the best vacation period of my life, but without money it's just a depressingly sick joke.

Those two paragraphs were just a part of a seven paragraph piece of torture. The kind of torture that might get prisoners to talk. Just spit it out already, like this:
A friend's been staying with me until he finds his own place, and we've both been really busy. I'm also looking for a part-time job to make a little money while I finish up my portfolio.

Done - two paragraphs condensed into two sentences. No mention of looney bins, bowel movements or Boy Bands. Simple. Tolerable. Painless.

I wish I had more examples of his work, but I don't; I had to delete them out of my inbox because they were taking up too much memory.

-JT

*\o/* GO TEAM

JT and I had a conversation a few days ago and somehow landed on the topic of cheerleading. It turns out one of his old classmates authored a book entitled "Sharing the Spirit: for and by cheerleaders, dancers, and coaches."

While the title of the book itself makes me want to stock up and buy a copy for each of my former cheermates, the single review of this book on Amazon is... well, read it yourself, verbatim:

A must-read for ALL cheerleaders, dancers, & coaches *\o/*, February 22, 2002

By	Erin (Fox Lake, IL)

Wow!!! This book is definately the best thing to come into the spirit industry in a long time! It will surely spark a new revoloution and title the once ditzy cheerleaders and dancers for the true "SPIRIT ATHLETES" they are. It's a great thing to finally recognize the hard work and family togetherness the cheerleaders and dancers strive to maintain. "Sharing the Spirit" is an absolute must-read for all generations of cheerleaders, dancers, and spirit coaches! Cheers and best wishes to all...*\o/*
*************

Now, if you're like JT and I, you're wondering what in the world this is supposed to be. (After all, she uses it twice in her review):

*\o/*

We stared at this for a while and after about three solid minutes of serious contemplation, realized that this was actually sheer genius on Erin's part: a text-able cheerleader's head with two arms in a high-V holding two pompoms.

Since JT is the coolest ever, he sent me a recent e-mail featuring this masterpiece:

Like you should be, I'm officially in awe. The base on the left is even holding the flier in a cupie, for crying out loud. Sorry Erin, but I think it's time for you to hereby concede texting prowess circa 2002 and officially bow down to the new master of all cheer texts: Understandbetter's very own JT.

But no need to be too sad, Erin of Fox Lake - the team here is sending cheers and best wishes right back at ya! GO TEAM!!

-10-key princess

Orange you glad you can communicate with your spouse?

A few months ago, I asked my husband to just let me know in advance what his plans are for the week. (I think I deserve a wife-of-the-year award for figuring out how to get him to do this. . . or maybe some sort of Nobel Prize.)

Today is Saturday, and he tells me he's going to the library to study. I ask him to give me some general time guidelines so I can plan the day accordingly. He says he'll start when our son goes to take a nap (about 2 p.m.).

So far, so good. I'm content. We're communicating. It's great.

[Before I go on, I should probably state for the record that I've had a challenging week. Other moms will empathize with me, because:
- I've been taking care of a sick, whiny toddler who just spent the weekend with his sick cousin (a kid his age who loves to hit, whine, yell "NO," and throw tantrums. . . and yes, those things are all contagious, too. My sweet baby has been corrupted.)
- I've had no "time off" since Monday. (My husband took the train into the city practically every night this week for classes and other work events, which means I've been on duty for 4 days straight, 15 hours a day.)]

So the afternoon arrives. Our son is "down for a nap" (which means he's in his crib, kicking and screaming so that he can effectively not nap.) I'm not happy that he's crying. All I want is a few minutes of peace and quiet so I can read my book. The thought of showering crosses my mind. . . and leaves just as quickly. I'm not getting a shower in today.

In my mind, I want my husband to go to the library, finish up, and come back early so he can give our son a bath tonight. I think men should instinctively know that this is what a tired, frazzled, mentally and physically exhausted mom would appreciate. But apparently, they don't come with that kind of programming.

While I'm thinking this to myself (I've learned better than to open my mouth before thinking things through), I'm watching my husband in the kitchen, methodically cutting an orange. I (think I politely) ask him when he's going to go study. By this time, it's 2:20.

"Why are you trying to get rid of me?" he retorts.

I say, "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just thought you were going to study this afternoon. It's 2:20. It would be nice if you could study and be home by the time the kid is up so you could help out this evening."

"Jeeze, woman! Can't I have two minutes to eat an orange?" Clearly, husband is upset and defends his orange.

I reply, "What? This isn't about the orange!"

"Well, it's always about something." Husband rolls his eyes, huffs, and leaves visibly upset.

So now we're arguing about an orange. To be continued . . .

Science Saturday writer's block edition

Anyone feel like collaborating on a group investment of bio-domes off the great barrier reef?

The cheese must be Swiss

Ah, those Cheeseheads - gotta love 'em. A few of them were waiting outside their polling place at 6:30 am on Super Tuesday. One minor problem - the state of Wisconsin was not a part of the primaries being held on Super Tuesday.

On the upside of things, we now have confirmation that the majority of voter-eligible Wisconsinites are not complete morons.

-JT

A Place for Literary Nerds

Next time you're wandering around Paris and you're so over the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Louvre, and Musee D'Orsay, check out this local utopian bookstore that romanticizes the bohemian lifestyle.

The owner even lets aspiring authors stay there in exchange for helping out around the place. So if you ever find yourself homeless in Paris, George will hook you up.

-10-key princess

Family Watchdog

A good friend of mine (with three kids under the age of five) recently moved to a neighborhood she really didn't know anything about. As they were about to put an offer in on a house she absolutely loved, she checked out this site - only to find that there was a sexual offender living right next door. Needless to say, she and her husband didn't end up putting an offer in on that house after all.

View offenders by type of offense, on a map, on a list, by picture, or even by reported address changes.

Be safe!
-SM

The game or the commercials?

Which do you prefer on Super Bowl Sunday?

We're subjected to two weeks of intricate analysis...We interrupt this blog to announce that Tom Brady's wearing a boot!...with all the talking heads practically having an orgasm about every little story...To confirm our earlier reports, Eli Manning is indeed Peyton Manning's younger brother!... and when it's all over, the game is a blowout and all we have to show for it is the extra 7.84 lbs of Chex Mix, pigs in a blanket and chips and dip that's stuck to our ribs. No wonder there are so many obese people in the United States.

On the other hand, we have the commercials, which, as I explained a few days ago, have seemed to garner just about as much attention. I've even had my mom call me before kick-off to ask me which commercials were made by the company I work for. Probably so she can show off to her friends. And just like the game, many of the commercials fail to deliver.

So, in homage to day that rarely ends up living up to the hype, I share with you Gawker's list of the 25 Most Memorable Super Bowl Ads.

Enjoy - it'll probably be more entertaining than anything else on TV today.

-JT

Science Saturday III - fuels

Lots of oil and natural gas has been found in the deep oceans.

All natural gas burns cleanly, meaning that the only expected products from natural gas burning are naturally occurring molecules. Energy obtained from natural gas is "greener" than that from coal (which contains sulfur that burns into sulfur dioxide - a component of acid rain) and oil (which burns so rapidly that toxic carbon monoxide is usually formed as a biproduct). Nature has mechanisms to convert CO2 back to O2 with photosynthesis, so natural gas is a means to fuel the planet for many decades until more sustainable and renewable energy sources can be developed. The only problem that exists however, as the 10-key princess will inform you, is economics.

Natural gas (methane) is a gas, and gases are voluminous and expensive to transport. Oil and coal are not, and so they are much more economical to transport. However, it is possible to break one chemical bond in methane (this is called "C-H activation"), and put the remaining molecule onto a metal atom (this is called "functionalization"). Once functionalized, there are processes to replace the metal atom (M) with a hydroxide (OH) to form methanol (the alcohol that makes you blind if you drink it, but an easily transportable liquid!). This is trickier than it looks. Methane is relatively inert, and the energy required to break one C-H bond in methane almost the same amount of energy required to break all of the C-H bonds causing it to burn up. Furthermore, it seems that the fine-tuned experiments that do activation well (breaking only one C-H bond) have great difficulty with functionalization.



If anyone reading this happens to figure this problem out you'll probably win a Nobel Prize the year you do...

The Super Bowl of Advertising

Yeah yeah - we all know that this Sunday is Super Bowl MCMXIIELXD. Or some combination of capital letters. And don't get me wrong, I'm a huge sports fan, but I'm also a huge advertising nut. So in my world, this Sunday is also widely known as the Super Bowl of Advertising.

It's when companies spend their entire ad budgets for the year on one 30-second commercial that runs during the most-watched television event of the year. The hype begins building in November, and the ads are scrutinized by industry experts, students, regular Joe Consumer and newspapers across the country. USA Today runs a poll the day after the game ranking the ads, based on just a few hundred people's opinions. And some clients - I'm talking CEO's and CMO's - use these rankings as the determining factor of whether their ads were successful. If they don't rank high enough, then heads at the ad agency will roll.

One of my all-time favorite campaigns launched during last year's Super Bowl. The ads were for CareerBuilder, and the campaign was called "Office Jungle." Basically, each TV spot depicts an office setting in the jungle, where the workers did things like sidestep traps, duck from darts and pass up free donuts to survive another day in a job they don't enjoy. The tagline sums the idea up perfectly - "Do more than just survive the work week." Check out the commercials here:

CareerBuilder: Office Jungle - CareerBuilder.com

CareerBuilder: Torture - CareerBuilder.com

CareerBuilder: Office Jungle Fight - CareerBuilder.com



(To see the last one, click on 'Watch Now,' copy the link and open it in a new browser. YouTube disabled embedding of these commercials so I had to improvise, but it's worth it - I promise.)

It turns out these ads didn't rank in the top 10 of the USA Today poll, and CareerBuilder immediately placed their account into review to find a new agency. Never mind that in the five years that Cramer-Krasselt, the agency responsible for this work, had the account, CareerBuilder had a huge increase in business, with skyrocketing job postings and 64% brand awareness. They even overtook Monster.com. Yet all CareerBuilder saw was that they didn't fare well in the minds of a few hundred people who filled out a survey that had nothing to do with whether or not an ad affected sales. And to them, public opinion mattered far more than good advertising.

Cramer-Krasselt rightfully declined to participate in the pitch for the business again, and with new work scheduled to run from their new agency Wieden + Kennedy during the Big Game, all industry eyes will be upon CareerBuilder. W+K might want to send someone out to buy up all the USA Today's at the crack of dawn on Monday, just in case.

-JT

Chutes and Ladders isn't good enough?

Take a look at this top ten list of the world's most controversial boardgames.

My personal favorite on the list is Ghettopoly. Here's a shot of the board:


Each playa can buy crack houses and projects, yo', instead of the little green houses and red hotels we're used to. And in place of taking a Chance or Community Chest card, you get to choose the next "Hustle" or "Ghetto Stash" card. Hmm - I wonder if there's still a "Get out of jail free" card. Or is it "Break out of the state pen with your homies"? Sounds like it could have been a classic staple of Family Game Night to me, but alas, we'll never know - it was discontinued shortly after being released.

Good times.

-JT