Hats Off

I really have no comment. I just wanted it to be documented for posterity that this is what Aretha Franklin wore at President Barack H. Obama's inauguration ceremony while singing "My Country, 'Tis of Thee."

And I just want my children to know that while some may disagree, I personally want to go down on the record as saying that I just don't see this as a fashion do.

That's all.

-SM

An F-ing Valuable Thing

I continue to be so proud of the leadership from my home state.

Way to go, Rod. I think they managed to catch you dropping the F bomb only 40 times on record.

-10-key princess

143 Days

An e-mail from a friend:

You couldn't get a job at McDonald's and become district manager after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.
You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't join the military and become a colonel after a 143 days of experience.
You couldn't get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.

BUT....
From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World .... 143 days.

We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start.

AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public is okay with this and campaigning for him. We wouldn't accept this in our own line of work, yet some are okay with this for the President of the United States of America ? Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol!

-10-key princess

Vote YES on Prop 8

My issue with voting "NO" for Prop 8 has nothing to do with being outspokenly Republican, conservative, or a supporter of family values. It has nothing to do with the homosexual issue, whether people are born gay or straight, whether or not society will crumble because of gay marriage, or how I feel about the subject being taught in schools. No, my issue with it is simple. Doing so will let the California State government and the Supreme Court of California know that they can do whatever they want to do.

Checks and balances? Out.
Democracy? Overruled.
The voice of the people? Insignificant.

Attorney General Jerry Brown suggested the following as verbiage for this November's ballot:

LIMIT ON MARRIAGE. CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Amends the California Constitution to provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Summary of estimate by Legislative Analyst and Director of Finance of fiscal impact on state and local government: The measure would have no fiscal effect on state or local governments. This is because there would be no change to the manner in which marriages are currently recognized by the state.

Instead, California's Secretary of State revised it to read:

ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state and local governments.

Talk about some creative spin-doctoring.

Why start with such a strong active word like "eliminates?" Not a single ballot measure has used such blatant verbiage in the last fifty years. The way I see it, Prop 8 has nothing to do with bigotry or hatred. It has only become that way because the media, liberal Congressmen and Congresswomen, and evidently, the Secretary of State have all portrayed it as such. And surprise, surprise - the dramalama they're getting is exactly what they wanted. Congratulations on the fantastic PR job, Prop 8 opposers.

Remember, the 14 words (which are the EXACT SAME words that Californian voters approved in 2000 with Proposition 22) "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California" are all you should be voting on. Not creative verbiage. Not what the media tells you. Not PR. Not hype. Not lawn signs. Not because you're scared that if you vote "YES," you'll be perceived as a bigot. Those are not the issues at all. Exercise your right to vote for whatever YOU believe in. Or to keep the courts in check. Or just to prove a point.

-10-key princess

PETA Strikes Again

A quote taken from a letter from PETA's EVP to Ben & Jerry's cofounders, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield:

If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits. Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to (human) breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

Ew. Just, ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

-10-key princess

Fall 2008 Fashion

I have a friend who's a stylist, and she helps me pick out pieces every season that will work with and complement my existing wardrobe.

There's one thing I just can't get into this season: booties.

How are these supposed to be flattering? Shoes should make your feet (not to mention your ankles, calves, and legs) look streamlined. All these do is make your feet look six inches wide and your legs look 12 inches shorter than they actually are (which, for those who know me, know I don't have 12 inches to spare).

I don't know who designed these fugly shoes, or decided that these would be hot for fall. My guess? These will be on clearance racks faster than you can say "Better Off Dead."

-SM

Lame and Whiny

Ooohhhh... this irritates me.

-10-key princess

Backstreet's back alright

At least you'd think so if you were at my office yesterday.

"Artists in Residence," a music program my office created to get musicians collaborating with us and allowing us to license their music for commercials, brings musicians into the agency for recording sessions. And along the way, they either perform a few songs for whoever wants to come watch, take part in a Q&A, or both.

Well yesterday, the Backstreet Boys were here. Yes, those Backstreet Boys. They were scheduled to perform at 1pm in the huge conference room/meeting room on our main floor, and as much as I didn't want to go, I wanted to go. If for nothing else than to catch a glimpse of everything - the amount of people who didn't have work to do, the number of children whose parents brought them in, the amount of hair gel they use. Unfortunately, I got down there late and the room was packed. People were already spilling out into the hallway.

I managed to peek my head in and catch a glimpse of the blonde guy (I don't know his name), but I was tired of fighting the crowd. So I just stood out in the hallway with a few other friends, waiting to hear something, when BAM - "You are, my fi-ire. The one desi-ire." The crowd inside started screaming like a group of 14 year-old girls as the boy band sang "I Want it That Way." I nearly threw up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I went back up to my desk, laughing at how ridiculous it was. Or maybe I was a tad smitten. Either way, they just need to quit playing games with my heart (with my heart).

-JT

Forced Charity

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells you that it's your turn to do something nice for someone else. This happens a lot in our church: when someone new moves into the area, she's assigned a friend; when someone's pregnant, a sign-up sheet goes around to babysit her other kids; when someone has a baby, a week's worth of meals are assigned out to make sure the new mom is taken care of.

Well, I got one such phone call about 42 hours ago.

A little background information on this family to whom I was asked to give forced charity. They just had their fifth baby under the age of eight. The wife is 30 and the dad is a high profile attorney at a law firm downtown. He makes a decent income and has 90 days of paid paternity leave. There is absolutely no reason he shouldn't be able to a) make dinners for his family, b) order takeout, c) fly in a grandparent to help with the cooking, or d) call Domino's.

Here's how the conversation went:

The assigner of forced charity: "Hi, SM, this is Rae. Kristy had her baby a few days ago and has asked for three weeks worth (are you kidding me?!) of meals to help with the transition. Would you be willing to take a meal over tomorrow night?"
Me: "Well, actually..."
The assigner of forced charity: "Great, thanks. I'll tell her you'll drop off the food at 5:30."

I was guilted in.

So yesterday came and went. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and I hadn't taken anything over. I was tempted to not even go, but I knew that if I didn't, I'd feel the pending guilt for weeks. So I put together a decent meal and drove across town.

The husband (who, let me remind you, brings home lots of money and has 90 days of paid paternity leave but was, for some reason, still in his pajamas at 6:00 p.m.) answered the door with the rest of the clan not far behind. I apologized for being a little late. It's fine, he said sternly. I handed over the food.

The husband: "Do you want me to help you get the rest of the food from the car?"
Me: "Actually, this is it."
The wife: "Oh, SM. I guess you don't know what it takes to actually feed a family of seven."
Me (in my head, but so should have been out loud): "Oh, Kristy. If you have the nerve to ask for three weeks worth of meals from other people, I think you probably have the nerve to throw some chicken nuggets in the microwave for your five kids. By the way, here's a pack of condoms."

Forced charity. I love how it gives me the warm fuzzies.

-SM

That's my name. No, that's MY name.

For the purposes of this story, my name is Jebediah Smith.

Funny story. So I was in Manhattan last weekend for a wedding on my wife's side of the family. Her second cousin was marrying a man who happened to have the same last name as me. It's ethnic, from Israel, and while more common out there, let's just say that it's not as popular here.

Anyway, that's not the funny story. We knew the groom-to-be had the same last name as me. But at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, the father of the groom was giving a toast. And during his toast, he thanked his three children - the groom, the groom's sister, and the groom's brother. The groom's brother's name is Jebediah. My name is Jebediah (although I go by a nickname not related to my birth name, which is a completely different story). When I heard his name, my eyes lit up - I found my name twin.

I hadn't spoken to my name double yet, but I wanted to introduce myself. And since I always try to be the funny guy, I didn't want to just go up to him, extend my hand and say, "Jebediah Smith, I'm Jebediah Smith. Nice to meet you." Lame.

So instead, I pulled out my driver's license, walked up to the other Jebediah, and showed it to him. He took it from me, looked at it carefully, looked up at me and said, "Um. That's not me." So I was like, "I know! That's me! We have the same name!" He kind of smiled, said it was nice to meet me, and handed me back my license. And that was it. Over so quickly.

Clearly, he wasn't nearly as giddy as I was. Maybe Jebediah already found his name twin elsewhere.

-JT (aka Jebediah Smith)

A musician to keep your eye on

Joshua Radin. Remember his name. He's an acoustic alternative singer/songwriter. He plays and sings with an understated style that I can't really describe unless you see him live. And with him, less is more. It's this quiet style that has enough power to bring an entire concert hall, like the House of Blues last night, to complete silence. Wow.

Last night I went to go see him perform live for my second time, and it was amazing. It was kind of my birthday present, although not really since I bought the tickets myself. Now I'm normally not a fan of the House of Blues because they just pack people in and there aren't many places to sit, but it wasn't sold out last night. I was able to score a stool and then eventually a table, and I was set.

Anyway - the show was so good. Vanessa Carlton and Alexa Wilkinson opened. I was pleasantly surprised by Carlton, since I only knew her popular song. But her performance was nothing compared to Joshua Radin's set. He played songs from his older records, like "Lovely Tonight," "You've Got Growing Up to Do" and all my favorites. And he also played some songs that will be on his new record. The crowd was hushed, and he even acknowledged how cool it was to play in front of so many silent people.

The best part of the show? No, not that he disclosed how he ate at Potbelly's twice on Friday. It was when he came out for the obligatory encore. Instead of playing one of his songs on stage, he climbed down the stage, got right in the middle of the pit at HOB where everyone stands and played the Bob Dylan ballad "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" in the middle of the crowd. He was belting it out since he had no mic, and I'd never seen anything like it.

As I said before - wow.

-JT

Yet Another Dem Scandal

Here's a story that is blazing across headlines today, but will probably be lining the streets tomorrow morning.

My two cents? I think all politicians should just admit to their extramarital affairs up front before taking office, like New York's new governor post-Spitzer, David Paterson. It's not like we don't know already.

-10-key princess

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog

Where no one notices the contrast of white on white.

Those are the first two lines of my favorite song, Round Here by the Counting Crows. I'm a sucker for live music, especially involving an acoustic guitar, and now I can listen to about as much live music from Adam Duritz and his band through the site livecountingcrows.com as I want.


The site was launched last week, and you can purchase and download live Counting Crows shows. Every single show, beginning with the July 28th show, will be added to the site within 72 hours, and they're planning to release archived shows periodically. They offered a free show to the first 10,000 fans who signed up, so I was able to see what it's all about.

It's freaking amazing.

-JT

Extreme Foreclosure

More bad news for the economy: foreclosures are still on the upswing. Even free houses are going into foreclosure.

The Harper Family of Lake City, GA, had their bacteria-infested house razed and a mini castle built in its place by the good people at ABC - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Beazer Homes (who are amid their own little crisis right now, but that's for another post). Now, it seems they're on the verge of losing it all and going right back to their minivan because of their poor business acumen.

I can't decide whether I feel sorry for them or not. On one hand, theirs was truly a sob story. On the other, well, they're only adding to the "Stupid Americans" stereotype. Hmm... decisions, decisions.

-10-key princess

My Induction into NASCAR

To this northern urbanite, NASCAR has always seemed like a redneck sport. I'm used to Wrigley where most people are bandwagon fans and aren't even there to watch the game. So imagine my shock when I, along with about 20 co-workers and our friends, rolled up to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Sunday to take in the Allstate 400 at the Brickyard NASCAR race. I was in sensory overload, so I tried to snapped a ton of pictures throughout the day.

I mean, these race fans are Hard Core, with a capital 'H' and 'C.' They don't just root for their favorite drivers, they bleed for them. Some literally. One of the women with us, who happened to be an admin at my office, has a tattoo of the number 3 car on her ankle in homage to Dale Earnhardt Sr., who died in a wreck during a race five years ago. Besides her ink, these guys caught my eye, or lense, I suppose.

Two of Nascar's finest.

The race itself was fun, despite the heat, which made it feel like I was melting in the stands. Luckily, though, since we were there because of our involvement in the ad campaign, we had passes to the Allstate hospitality tent. It featured food, drinks and free A/C. It was a frequent destination for all of us posers.

Jimmie Johnson ended up winning the race, which made me $125 richer. On the way down to Indy, a bunch of us decided it'd be fun to put the top 25 drivers' names in a hat and randomly pick one for $5 a pop. If your driver wins the race, you win the pot. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I pulled Johnson's name. While this doesn't make up for Memphis choking during the NCAA Final Four Championship Game, it was still nice to win. And in true Indianapolis Motor Speedway form, the race winner always kisses the row of bricks. Since it's tradition, I followed suit.

I may or may not have slipped in some tongue.

At the end of it all, I left with more of an appreciation for NASCAR. It's the fastest growing sport in the U.S., and the fans definitely know how to have a good time. They party from about three days before the race starts until well after the race is over. This was my inaugural race, and since I know how exhausted I was after coming into town the morning of and then leaving that evening, I feel these people's pain.

This guy was out like a light - immediately after the race was over.

And so was he. His friends, not so much.

An overserved fan being consoled by her boyfriend, who can't use two hands because then he'd drop his beer.

I just hope they all got home eventually. Or maybe even to next week's race track. And if you expect me to know where that is, I apologize. I'm not that big of a fan. Yet.

-JT

Research, huh, yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

I just read that researchers from the American Allergy Institute released their findings on a study they did on what the most effective research for a mosquito bite was. The answer...drum roll please...

X-ing out a mosquito bite with your fingernails.


Really? People were paid to find this out? In a commissioned study? That was published in the Massachusetts Health Journal? I don't have any more questions? But I like using question marks anyway?

According to one of the doctors who ran the study, the cross technique (as it's known in the medical field) limits the immune response from the binding of IgG and IgE antibodies to antigens in the mosquito's saliva. Typical antihistamines only block the itch, but the cross technique digs deep into the bite and acts to punish the offending irritation.

The article went on to say that out of the 452 of the 500 patients tested, the fingernail cross was found to relieve the skin irritation to an acceptable degree, while most subjects indicated that an added benefit was the subtle enjoyment they had of branding the small "x" over the infected area.

Odd. I wonder who the test subjects were.

This quote pretty much sums the entire study up. When speaking to reporters about the findings, the doctor said, "This is really just an amazing discovery. Not only does it give us much needed relief, but it substantiates what most people already knew."

Good to know. In fact, this study might be stupider than the one about music.

-JT

Stream of consciousness

Rather than blog about one specific topic tonight, I decided on a brain dump after having a stressful week (month, maybe?). Here are some happy, philosophical, sad and irreverent thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head recently. Ready? Take a deep breath...

I believe the Cubbies rule more than most people, but even I think it's ridiculous that Carlos Marmlol freaking made the All-Star team after the way he's pitched this past month.

Are ideas ownable? When do they become yours? My boss took an idea that the Chief Creative Officer (CCO) of our company had for a new business project I'm working on and is trying to pawn it off as his own. How do I know this? Because I overheard my boss telling someone else that he had a meeting with the CCO who had a suggestion for a TV commercial. Lo and behold, when my partner and I presented work a day or two later, our boss was like, "That actually kind of works with an idea I had," and then proceeded to tell us the exact idea that the CCO told him. Shady. It makes me wonder how many of our ideas became his ideas when he presented them to the clients.

AVP beach volleyball is awwwwwwesome. I wish my beach skills were 8.31% of the skills of the pros on that tour. But at least all 5'9" of me got to meet and take a picture with 6'3" Kerri Walsh, who's the #1 women's beach volleyball player in the world. Take a look below. It wasn't awkward at all.


To keep my celebrity encounters rolling - on my way to catch the bus to go home after watching the AVP all day, I was walking on the bike path. I happened to look over my left shoulder, and right there next to me was Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith on his bike. I was like, "Hey! Lovie Smith." he was all quiet with a quick, "Yeah." I asked if I could get a picture with him. He obliged and got off his bike. Then he walked his bike in front of me to get on my right (not sure why), and, of course, ran over my flip-flop outfitted foot with his front tire. Luckily for me, he was walking his bike. Luckily for him, he apologized.


Today was my company's summer outing - a scavenger hunt/trek downtown, kind of like the Amazing Race, that ended with a barbecue. It was an absolute blast. We had to complete missions using problem-solving, video, photography, bartering and good old-fashioned charm. I might could have enjoyed it more had I not been called back to work, but it was still fun.

One of my friends from childhood passed away yesterday after a battle with pulmonary fibrosis. We had grown apart as we got older and he went to a different high school, but I've run into him on many occasions at some of the neighborhood festivals over the years. He had been on a waiting list for a double-lung transplant for the past few years, which unfortunately didn't come through in time. Even though he had been sick for a while now, the news still came as a shock. Death has a way of doing that.

Ok, you can breathe again. Goodnight. Sleep well.

-JT

Starting a Business

I'm starting a new business.

I just met with some business counselors, and here's my "have to find" list for the week:
An attorney.
An accountant.
A graphic designer. check
A web programmer. check
A copywriter. check
A printer.
A dry ingredients supplier.
A perishable ingredients supplier.
A packaging supplier. check
A food permit.
A marketing intern.
A baker. check

Oh, and I have to register my business with every county I'm going to be doing business in. And then I have to submit that to the newspapers and let them run it for three weeks.

I could go on and on, but the list is so long, it's ridiculous.

Thanks for letting me vent.

-SM

Under Where, Part 2

The last time I was in Times Square, I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. He had a publicist/manager with him who, in true Sopranos style, said that nobody could take a picture of or with him without shelling out some singles. So I did. I didn't want to be the reason for an unhappy tooshie.

It looks like he's out for more than just singles now. The Naked Cowboy is suing M&M Mars. For millions and millions of dollars.

That's right. The guy who did nothing to be infamous except strip down to his underwear (which is nothing new), paint (in bad manuscript) "Naked Cowboy" on the back of his tighty-whities, and play the guitar with a cowboy hat and long (and not particularly Fabio-esque) hair, is suing giant candy conglomerate USA for their latest ad featuring a hard-shelled blue candy that looks somewhat like him.

His classic quote when asked his reason for suing:
"Type II diabetes and childhood obesity is (an) epidemic," he said. "I am the opposite of that. I don't endorse that product."

My opinion? He should have gotten his mobster dad, Tony, to write something a little more believable for the press.

For the record, if he gets any sort of sizable settlement, I'm going back and asking for a refund.

-SM

The Good Wife's Guide

I don't have much time to do a full commentary right now, but I just got this in an e-mail from a colleague. Click on the picture to read it up close and personal.

Like my mother always said to me, "You should be grateful you weren't born in the 40s." And this is exactly why.

-10-key princess