Hats Off

I really have no comment. I just wanted it to be documented for posterity that this is what Aretha Franklin wore at President Barack H. Obama's inauguration ceremony while singing "My Country, 'Tis of Thee."

And I just want my children to know that while some may disagree, I personally want to go down on the record as saying that I just don't see this as a fashion do.

That's all.

-SM

The Odd Couple

Rudy and Mitt have been sent to Denver by the GOP to give an unbiased perspective of what's going on at the DNC.

Their theme? "A mile high and an inch deep."

Oh, I have a drrrrty mind.

-10-key princess

That's my name. No, that's MY name.

For the purposes of this story, my name is Jebediah Smith.

Funny story. So I was in Manhattan last weekend for a wedding on my wife's side of the family. Her second cousin was marrying a man who happened to have the same last name as me. It's ethnic, from Israel, and while more common out there, let's just say that it's not as popular here.

Anyway, that's not the funny story. We knew the groom-to-be had the same last name as me. But at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, the father of the groom was giving a toast. And during his toast, he thanked his three children - the groom, the groom's sister, and the groom's brother. The groom's brother's name is Jebediah. My name is Jebediah (although I go by a nickname not related to my birth name, which is a completely different story). When I heard his name, my eyes lit up - I found my name twin.

I hadn't spoken to my name double yet, but I wanted to introduce myself. And since I always try to be the funny guy, I didn't want to just go up to him, extend my hand and say, "Jebediah Smith, I'm Jebediah Smith. Nice to meet you." Lame.

So instead, I pulled out my driver's license, walked up to the other Jebediah, and showed it to him. He took it from me, looked at it carefully, looked up at me and said, "Um. That's not me." So I was like, "I know! That's me! We have the same name!" He kind of smiled, said it was nice to meet me, and handed me back my license. And that was it. Over so quickly.

Clearly, he wasn't nearly as giddy as I was. Maybe Jebediah already found his name twin elsewhere.

-JT (aka Jebediah Smith)

I Went on a Date With an Olympian

You would think it would have occurred to me a long time ago that I went out with someone who had the potential to be an Olympic athlete, but no, it didn't hit me until about 11:00 this morning.

I went to a school with a highly ranked volleyball team, so it's no coincidence that two grads and one of the coaches (that's a separate story, noted here) are involved with the US Men's Olympic Volleyball team.

Anyhow, I was at the gym, watching a bit of NBC when the USA vs. Japan game came on. Lo and behold, there was my date: Rich Lambourne.

I don't remember who arranged it or if we even had a good time. I do remember it had something to do with the fact that he spoke Japanese, and apparently the person who introduced us assumed that I did too. Slightly awkward.

I'm tempted to Facebook friend him and write on his wall. "Hey, Rich, remember me? I'm that girl you went disco skating with in Orem sometime between 1996 and 1997. How's it going? Oh, and good job blocking that spike."

-SM

New Olympics event

Urban Gymnastics.



-JT

Oh, Numnah! That's a Relief.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is an event I look forward to every year. And you really wonder why? THIS, readers, is true entertainment at its finest.

Lucky for him, he won.

-SM

Now It All Makes Sense

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. We'll call him "Michael." This wasn't middle school stuff. This was summer-after-middle-school seriousness. We held hands. We went to dances. We ate lunch together. We hung out after school. We went to the library. We went to a couple of GOP events together with our parents in 92. We were in love. Until we broke up 4 months later. We hardly talked after that. We graduated, and off he went to USC.

We never kissed. And the whole time, I was like, what the hell? Why won't he just kiss me? Well, today I got my answer.

Out of the blue, I got an e-mail from a high school friend who told me that she went to his wedding last November. Yes, Michael got married. To a guy. In southern California.

Now I don't know how legitimate this wedding was, since it was only yesterday that the California Supreme Court announced its decision to overturn the state's ban on gay marriage. But I have no doubt that Michael and his partner will seek to legalize whatever union they participated in... as soon as possible. Which looks like it'll be mid-June.

I love it when things come full circle - 15 years later. I guess Michael isn't affiliated with the Republican party anymore, huh?

-10-key princess

French Class

To keep up on my language skills, I read the news in French every so often. And every so often I come across idioms I've never heard before. Take this one, for example:

Pourquoi Hillary Clinton refuse-t-elle de jeter l'éponge ?
Literally translated: Why does Hillary Clinton refuse to throw away the sponge? (or, "Why doesn't she just give up?")

Other classic French idioms:

• Dans la semaine des quatre jeudis et des trois dimanches (In a week of four Thursdays and three Sundays... or, you could just say "never" and be done with it)
• Les doigts dans le nez (Fingers in the nose... or, "Piece of cake")
• Tout droit (All the way right... or, "Straight ahead," which got me lost plenty of times in Europe until I actually realized what "tout droit" meant)
• Mettre la beurre aux épinards (Put butter on spinach... or "To get lucky")
• Il y a du monde au balcon (There are lots of people on the balcony... or "Nice rack!")
• Casse-toi, pauvre con (Get lost, poor ____... I still don't know the actual literal translation for the word "con." If anyone knows for sure, please post under comments.)

Not like the English language is any less idiomatic, but hey, it's fun to learn new phrases. Especially those insinuating that Hillary is a bad housekeeper. And yes, *why, oh why* does she refuse to throw away the sponge? It's over.

-10-key princess

Hillary really was under attack when she visited Bosnia

See? And everyone thought she was lying...

-JT

Who Needs a Truck?

-10-key princess

The backlash has begun

It's about time.



I've managed to keep myself from joining the 'book, much to the dismay of everyone out there who's been dying to poke, super-poke or bite me. And my quality of life hasn't even suffered.

-JT

What Bra Sizes Really Mean - *100th understandbetter Post*

From an e-mail I got from a mom in our playgroup:

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely There...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double Dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

-SM

Finally a valid reason why models obsess about their weight

Poor girl - as if the fashion industry wasn't enough to make a model become anorexic.

-JT

I'm siiiiiiiinging in the raaaaaiiiiiin...

This musical number has been interrupted to bring you a special announcement from Gene Kelly's wife who wants a liberal NY Times columnist to apologize for using Bush and her late husband in the same sentence together. Ouch.

No stone left unturned

In case you were wondering if every single topic imaginable has been covered by one blog or another, I think we have our answer - Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.

-JT

Dream Big

Remember those days in school when we'd each go around and tell the rest of the class what we wanted to be when we grew up? And response after response would be the same? "Baseball player." "Doctor." "Firefighter." "Lawyer." Each one more cliche than the previous one. Well, not anymore.



Could you imagine being the teacher whose student showed her this? If nothing else, at least she can take comfort in the fact that kids still look up to their parents. Mom must be so proud.

-JT

Desperate Princesses

-SM

Happy St. Patrick's Day From Eliot Spitzer

I was bored so I made this today.



You can make your own by clicking on the "create your own" link above. Duh.

-JT

The Fine Print

After talking with JT today, I did a quick search for the fine print on the Virgin Mobile ad. Here it is:
Gotta love the way Canadian ad agencies use outed American prostitute-seeking politicians to their advantage.

-10-key princess

Happy Monday everyone!