Classy Gifts

Now that the holidays are just around the corner, I've decided to make a list of great gift ideas that say "class" about a million times more than the standard gift card. And while keeping in mind the present recessionary state of our economy, I've done my best to look for gifts that fit any budget.

For the Gal Pal
Cameo Stationery Set from Kate's Paperie.

This gift, in addition to being classy, is only $30. Blank notes means more flexibility. And you can even monogram or emboss these note cards. Kate's Paperie was one of my most frequented shops while living in New York. But no worries - they ship as well.
Cost: $30 for a set of $25

For the Wannabe Rachael Ray
Culinary Classes in various locations from XperienceDays.com

In addition to being a great resource for that hard-to-please gift recipient, this website offers a variety of "experience" gift options, including culinary classes wherever you are. They're a bit on the pricey side, but if you can find a location that's not quite as touristy (avoid areas like Napa, Sonoma, or New York), you'll have leftover cash for the BART ride home.
Cost: $21 per hour per person ($150 for a 3 1/2 hour session for two)

For the Kids
Local Children's Museum Pass
I have several nieces and nephews, and the quest to find a gift that
a) they don't already have
b) doesn't make annoying sounds that can't be turned off
c) won't get their parents upset with me
d) isn't clutter
is always a challenge. But a year-long membership to a museum is the gift that keeps on giving. (And it forces my nieces and nephews to spend quality time with me whenever I'm around.)
Cost: depends on location, but the average is anywhere from $50-80 per year per family.

For the Demanding Man
Cufflinks in any shape, size, or form at Cufflinks.com
A man in cufflinks automatically oozes class. But men in suits can be boring. Why not help them show their personality with Republican cufflinks or a rhinestone-studded pair for the rocker?
Cost: varies, but there's a link for those starting at under $50 per pair.

For the Entertainer
Table Topics Cubes - in categories like Family Gathering, Right or Wrong, Teen, Couples, Girls Night Out, and Election 2008.
Never again will you be stuck in an uncomfortable situation. I went to a party once where I knew, like, barely one other person. But then the host busted out the Table Topics, and within minutes I 15 new best friends. I've used these in uncomfortable, stuffy executive meetings to break the ice, too.
Cost: $9 for the "to go" topics; $25 for the standard cube set.

Happy shopping!
-10-key princess

Vote YES on Prop 8

My issue with voting "NO" for Prop 8 has nothing to do with being outspokenly Republican, conservative, or a supporter of family values. It has nothing to do with the homosexual issue, whether people are born gay or straight, whether or not society will crumble because of gay marriage, or how I feel about the subject being taught in schools. No, my issue with it is simple. Doing so will let the California State government and the Supreme Court of California know that they can do whatever they want to do.

Checks and balances? Out.
Democracy? Overruled.
The voice of the people? Insignificant.

Attorney General Jerry Brown suggested the following as verbiage for this November's ballot:

LIMIT ON MARRIAGE. CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Amends the California Constitution to provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Summary of estimate by Legislative Analyst and Director of Finance of fiscal impact on state and local government: The measure would have no fiscal effect on state or local governments. This is because there would be no change to the manner in which marriages are currently recognized by the state.

Instead, California's Secretary of State revised it to read:

ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state and local governments.

Talk about some creative spin-doctoring.

Why start with such a strong active word like "eliminates?" Not a single ballot measure has used such blatant verbiage in the last fifty years. The way I see it, Prop 8 has nothing to do with bigotry or hatred. It has only become that way because the media, liberal Congressmen and Congresswomen, and evidently, the Secretary of State have all portrayed it as such. And surprise, surprise - the dramalama they're getting is exactly what they wanted. Congratulations on the fantastic PR job, Prop 8 opposers.

Remember, the 14 words (which are the EXACT SAME words that Californian voters approved in 2000 with Proposition 22) "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California" are all you should be voting on. Not creative verbiage. Not what the media tells you. Not PR. Not hype. Not lawn signs. Not because you're scared that if you vote "YES," you'll be perceived as a bigot. Those are not the issues at all. Exercise your right to vote for whatever YOU believe in. Or to keep the courts in check. Or just to prove a point.

-10-key princess

If You Had To . . .

Election day is less than five weeks away.

With so much commotion going on, particularly with the economy, the issues are being overshadowed by excited media analysts, SNL, he-said-she-said, glasses, and the extortion of the definition of rich.

I've half-heartedly succumbed to the notion that the POTUS is nothing more than a talking head. It's all the people who work at his/her feet who are the ones pulling the strings. While it's in our nation's best interest to elect a public official who will serve our needs and take our country in the direction we believe is correct, I've turned off the TV entirely for the next few hours to just take a good look at their general appearance. After all, a good-looking President is better than an ugly one. Look at past examples from history:

George Washington. A man with perfect curls and a great blush brush. Nice cheekbones.

Woodrow Wilson. No combover necessary! Nice jawline, nice three-piece suit. A refined gentleman.

Dwight D. Eisenhower. Just look at those baby blues. I like Ike.

John F. Kennedy. I'll be the first to admit, he was probably our best-looking President to date. Look at those perfect teeth! I wonder if he needed braces.

Ronald Reagan. There is a reason he was an actor. He was hot in his earlier days! And he even still looks distinguished here. Look at his 'kerchief. Only classy men know how to pull that off without looking like a sugadaddy.

I'm curious, now. Which of these pairs do you think look better suited for the Presidency and Vice Presidency? Please comment strictly based on looks alone. Anonymous comments are okay, but it's more fun if you tell me who you are and where you're reading from.



I'll be interested to hear your responses.

-10-key princess

Backstreet's back alright

At least you'd think so if you were at my office yesterday.

"Artists in Residence," a music program my office created to get musicians collaborating with us and allowing us to license their music for commercials, brings musicians into the agency for recording sessions. And along the way, they either perform a few songs for whoever wants to come watch, take part in a Q&A, or both.

Well yesterday, the Backstreet Boys were here. Yes, those Backstreet Boys. They were scheduled to perform at 1pm in the huge conference room/meeting room on our main floor, and as much as I didn't want to go, I wanted to go. If for nothing else than to catch a glimpse of everything - the amount of people who didn't have work to do, the number of children whose parents brought them in, the amount of hair gel they use. Unfortunately, I got down there late and the room was packed. People were already spilling out into the hallway.

I managed to peek my head in and catch a glimpse of the blonde guy (I don't know his name), but I was tired of fighting the crowd. So I just stood out in the hallway with a few other friends, waiting to hear something, when BAM - "You are, my fi-ire. The one desi-ire." The crowd inside started screaming like a group of 14 year-old girls as the boy band sang "I Want it That Way." I nearly threw up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I went back up to my desk, laughing at how ridiculous it was. Or maybe I was a tad smitten. Either way, they just need to quit playing games with my heart (with my heart).

-JT

That's my name. No, that's MY name.

For the purposes of this story, my name is Jebediah Smith.

Funny story. So I was in Manhattan last weekend for a wedding on my wife's side of the family. Her second cousin was marrying a man who happened to have the same last name as me. It's ethnic, from Israel, and while more common out there, let's just say that it's not as popular here.

Anyway, that's not the funny story. We knew the groom-to-be had the same last name as me. But at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, the father of the groom was giving a toast. And during his toast, he thanked his three children - the groom, the groom's sister, and the groom's brother. The groom's brother's name is Jebediah. My name is Jebediah (although I go by a nickname not related to my birth name, which is a completely different story). When I heard his name, my eyes lit up - I found my name twin.

I hadn't spoken to my name double yet, but I wanted to introduce myself. And since I always try to be the funny guy, I didn't want to just go up to him, extend my hand and say, "Jebediah Smith, I'm Jebediah Smith. Nice to meet you." Lame.

So instead, I pulled out my driver's license, walked up to the other Jebediah, and showed it to him. He took it from me, looked at it carefully, looked up at me and said, "Um. That's not me." So I was like, "I know! That's me! We have the same name!" He kind of smiled, said it was nice to meet me, and handed me back my license. And that was it. Over so quickly.

Clearly, he wasn't nearly as giddy as I was. Maybe Jebediah already found his name twin elsewhere.

-JT (aka Jebediah Smith)

New Olympics event

Urban Gymnastics.



-JT

Oranges, Part 2

Earlier I mentioned that my husband and I get into silly disagreements over trivial things. Well, today is no exception. I went to the city today and ended up locking myself out of the car. Yes, I'm that dumb.

Regardless, I handled the situation in spite of a not-so-helpful Chicago cop and a guy who tried to slim jim my car using a wire hanger. Neither of them got me into the car, so I ended up calling for roadside assistance, who came to my rescue using an assortment of break-and-enter tools I'd never seen before.

You would think the story ends there, but allow me to vent for a minute.

I called my husband to tell him what was going on. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "I locked myself out of the car. Don't worry, roadside assistance is coming to help. I just wanted to let you know what's going on."
Him: "Okay. I gotta run. The kiddo is acting up." Click.

A couple of minutes later, he called back.
Him: "Did you get into the car yet?"
Me: "No, not yet, but they just called and someone's coming soon."
Him: "So I don't have to go out to the city and rescue you?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Thank goodness. Okay. Bye."

At this point, I'm really feeling the love.

When I got home later in the afternoon, we wrapped up the conversation:
Him: "So did roadside assistance slim jim the car?"
Me: "No. Actually, someone did try to break in using a bent wire hanger, but that didn't work so that's when roadside assistance showed up."
Him: "What? NEVER, EVER, EVER let anyone ever do that. That can really mess up the mechanism of the power locks."
Me: "Um, it didn't mess it up."
Him: "It's just common sense. Don't let anyone do it again."

The best part? He just poked me on Facebook. As if that will make me want to speak to him right now.

-SM

Yet Another Dem Scandal

Here's a story that is blazing across headlines today, but will probably be lining the streets tomorrow morning.

My two cents? I think all politicians should just admit to their extramarital affairs up front before taking office, like New York's new governor post-Spitzer, David Paterson. It's not like we don't know already.

-10-key princess

My Induction into NASCAR

To this northern urbanite, NASCAR has always seemed like a redneck sport. I'm used to Wrigley where most people are bandwagon fans and aren't even there to watch the game. So imagine my shock when I, along with about 20 co-workers and our friends, rolled up to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Sunday to take in the Allstate 400 at the Brickyard NASCAR race. I was in sensory overload, so I tried to snapped a ton of pictures throughout the day.

I mean, these race fans are Hard Core, with a capital 'H' and 'C.' They don't just root for their favorite drivers, they bleed for them. Some literally. One of the women with us, who happened to be an admin at my office, has a tattoo of the number 3 car on her ankle in homage to Dale Earnhardt Sr., who died in a wreck during a race five years ago. Besides her ink, these guys caught my eye, or lense, I suppose.

Two of Nascar's finest.

The race itself was fun, despite the heat, which made it feel like I was melting in the stands. Luckily, though, since we were there because of our involvement in the ad campaign, we had passes to the Allstate hospitality tent. It featured food, drinks and free A/C. It was a frequent destination for all of us posers.

Jimmie Johnson ended up winning the race, which made me $125 richer. On the way down to Indy, a bunch of us decided it'd be fun to put the top 25 drivers' names in a hat and randomly pick one for $5 a pop. If your driver wins the race, you win the pot. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I pulled Johnson's name. While this doesn't make up for Memphis choking during the NCAA Final Four Championship Game, it was still nice to win. And in true Indianapolis Motor Speedway form, the race winner always kisses the row of bricks. Since it's tradition, I followed suit.

I may or may not have slipped in some tongue.

At the end of it all, I left with more of an appreciation for NASCAR. It's the fastest growing sport in the U.S., and the fans definitely know how to have a good time. They party from about three days before the race starts until well after the race is over. This was my inaugural race, and since I know how exhausted I was after coming into town the morning of and then leaving that evening, I feel these people's pain.

This guy was out like a light - immediately after the race was over.

And so was he. His friends, not so much.

An overserved fan being consoled by her boyfriend, who can't use two hands because then he'd drop his beer.

I just hope they all got home eventually. Or maybe even to next week's race track. And if you expect me to know where that is, I apologize. I'm not that big of a fan. Yet.

-JT

Breaking News

Despite the rumors, I will not be running for Vice President alongside Barack Obama during the upcoming presidential election. I'm just way too busy. I just wanted to let Mr. Obama know that he should look elsewhere.

Sorry. I figured I'd just follow Al Gore's lead. Last Friday, everyone's favorite environmentalist announced that he will not serve as Barack Obama's running mate. One thing, though - Obama never asked Gore to be his Vice President.


I say we start an online video movement where people film themselves turning down an unsolicited VP-request from Barack Obama. Like, "Barack - You're probably thinking of me to be your Vice President come November, but I'm just telling you now so you have enough notice that my family and I are supposed to be on vacation October 17 - October 30. And then there's Halloween and busy season at work. So I'm going to have to pass on the VP front. Thanks, though. Good luck."

How funny would that be? Hillaryous, if you ask me.

-JT

Stream of consciousness

Rather than blog about one specific topic tonight, I decided on a brain dump after having a stressful week (month, maybe?). Here are some happy, philosophical, sad and irreverent thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head recently. Ready? Take a deep breath...

I believe the Cubbies rule more than most people, but even I think it's ridiculous that Carlos Marmlol freaking made the All-Star team after the way he's pitched this past month.

Are ideas ownable? When do they become yours? My boss took an idea that the Chief Creative Officer (CCO) of our company had for a new business project I'm working on and is trying to pawn it off as his own. How do I know this? Because I overheard my boss telling someone else that he had a meeting with the CCO who had a suggestion for a TV commercial. Lo and behold, when my partner and I presented work a day or two later, our boss was like, "That actually kind of works with an idea I had," and then proceeded to tell us the exact idea that the CCO told him. Shady. It makes me wonder how many of our ideas became his ideas when he presented them to the clients.

AVP beach volleyball is awwwwwwesome. I wish my beach skills were 8.31% of the skills of the pros on that tour. But at least all 5'9" of me got to meet and take a picture with 6'3" Kerri Walsh, who's the #1 women's beach volleyball player in the world. Take a look below. It wasn't awkward at all.


To keep my celebrity encounters rolling - on my way to catch the bus to go home after watching the AVP all day, I was walking on the bike path. I happened to look over my left shoulder, and right there next to me was Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith on his bike. I was like, "Hey! Lovie Smith." he was all quiet with a quick, "Yeah." I asked if I could get a picture with him. He obliged and got off his bike. Then he walked his bike in front of me to get on my right (not sure why), and, of course, ran over my flip-flop outfitted foot with his front tire. Luckily for me, he was walking his bike. Luckily for him, he apologized.


Today was my company's summer outing - a scavenger hunt/trek downtown, kind of like the Amazing Race, that ended with a barbecue. It was an absolute blast. We had to complete missions using problem-solving, video, photography, bartering and good old-fashioned charm. I might could have enjoyed it more had I not been called back to work, but it was still fun.

One of my friends from childhood passed away yesterday after a battle with pulmonary fibrosis. We had grown apart as we got older and he went to a different high school, but I've run into him on many occasions at some of the neighborhood festivals over the years. He had been on a waiting list for a double-lung transplant for the past few years, which unfortunately didn't come through in time. Even though he had been sick for a while now, the news still came as a shock. Death has a way of doing that.

Ok, you can breathe again. Goodnight. Sleep well.

-JT

Scenes From My Kind of Town

For the loyal readers of understandbetter, I present to you the "Best of Chicago - Summer Scenes 2008 Edition."

Creative advertising by Dominicks. Or maybe I just have a dirty mind.

A million billion people rushing the loop after fireworks.

Note to self: always look at myself from all angles before leaving the house so I don't end up on someone else's blog for looking like this. (Sorry, I couldn't resist taking this picture.)

Ah. Wrigley Field. The Cubbies rule (2004).

Whoever the ad agency was that came up with the Pillsbury Doughboy deserves a gold star.

I love this city and its people.

-10-key princess

Starting a Business

I'm starting a new business.

I just met with some business counselors, and here's my "have to find" list for the week:
An attorney.
An accountant.
A graphic designer. check
A web programmer. check
A copywriter. check
A printer.
A dry ingredients supplier.
A perishable ingredients supplier.
A packaging supplier. check
A food permit.
A marketing intern.
A baker. check

Oh, and I have to register my business with every county I'm going to be doing business in. And then I have to submit that to the newspapers and let them run it for three weeks.

I could go on and on, but the list is so long, it's ridiculous.

Thanks for letting me vent.

-SM

This is JT in da Chi-town

Just wanted to, as they say in the radio business, give a quick shout-out to my bri-ish mum this morning. She's having a few horrible procedures today and is pretty down. And to see my drill sergeant-like dad show compassion yesterday and today was both shocking and incredibly nice to hear. Mom - we're all thinking about you and you'll be feeling better in no time.

-JT

Under Where, Part 2

The last time I was in Times Square, I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. He had a publicist/manager with him who, in true Sopranos style, said that nobody could take a picture of or with him without shelling out some singles. So I did. I didn't want to be the reason for an unhappy tooshie.

It looks like he's out for more than just singles now. The Naked Cowboy is suing M&M Mars. For millions and millions of dollars.

That's right. The guy who did nothing to be infamous except strip down to his underwear (which is nothing new), paint (in bad manuscript) "Naked Cowboy" on the back of his tighty-whities, and play the guitar with a cowboy hat and long (and not particularly Fabio-esque) hair, is suing giant candy conglomerate USA for their latest ad featuring a hard-shelled blue candy that looks somewhat like him.

His classic quote when asked his reason for suing:
"Type II diabetes and childhood obesity is (an) epidemic," he said. "I am the opposite of that. I don't endorse that product."

My opinion? He should have gotten his mobster dad, Tony, to write something a little more believable for the press.

For the record, if he gets any sort of sizable settlement, I'm going back and asking for a refund.

-SM

The Good Wife's Guide

I don't have much time to do a full commentary right now, but I just got this in an e-mail from a colleague. Click on the picture to read it up close and personal.

Like my mother always said to me, "You should be grateful you weren't born in the 40s." And this is exactly why.

-10-key princess

Text Trolls

I got a text last Friday from someone who wasn't in my phone book. Here is the text:
"Wanna grab a bite?"

I responded:
"Who is this?"

He responded:
"Scott"

I responded:
"Scott who?"

He responded:
"Who is this?"

I responded:
"You texted me."

He responded:
"Oh I was just bored and wanted to eat with someone hot. Are you hot?"

At least I have unlimited texting.

-10-key princess

Would You Rather Be Smart or Thin?

I was at the gym (again) on Friday and like always, someone had left behind their reading material for the next machine user. This time, I was lucky enough to inherit July 2008's Cosmo.

Here are some really substantial, important, fundamental-to-society tidbits I learned during my 50 minutes of cardio:

1. I learned that 56 percent of Cosmo readers would rather be thin than smart. (How sad is that?)

2. I learned how to tell whether two guys sitting together at a movie are gay or straight.











3. I learned that Cosmo has taken on the role of God and has written their own list of 10 commandments, this one to give you a heads up if you're being too bitchy. My favorite? "You just inked a six-figure deal with Midol to be their spokeswoman."















(Seriously, is there anyone out there who a) participates in these surveys, and b) actually reads and believes this stuff? If so, I would like to hear from you.)

-10-key princess

With great power comes great responsibility

That's the lesson that Uncle Ben (not the rice guy) gives Peter Parker in Spider-Man. Talk about deep.

I wonder if anyone ever passed this wisdom nugget to Alain Robert. Robert, known more popularly as Spiderman, scaled the New York Times building yesterday. When he got near the top, he opened up a banner that read, "Global warming kills more people than 9/11 every week."


A few hours later, Renaldo Clarke climbed the same building. He wasn't a complete copycat, though, since he didn't have a banner. Tenants inside the building said that Clarke stopped from time to time during his ascent, and he mouthed "What floor am i on?" to onlookers.

Neither of them were hurt, and both of them were arrested. Shocking.

-JT

In honor of the latest Indiana Jones movie

Check out this re-creation of the famous Indiana Jones scene where Indy's running from a rolling boulder. There are a few subtle differences, but I'll leave that up to you to find for yourself.



The lego supply must be down everywhere else across the world.

-JT