An F-ing Valuable Thing

I continue to be so proud of the leadership from my home state.

Way to go, Rod. I think they managed to catch you dropping the F bomb only 40 times on record.

-10-key princess

Vote YES on Prop 8

My issue with voting "NO" for Prop 8 has nothing to do with being outspokenly Republican, conservative, or a supporter of family values. It has nothing to do with the homosexual issue, whether people are born gay or straight, whether or not society will crumble because of gay marriage, or how I feel about the subject being taught in schools. No, my issue with it is simple. Doing so will let the California State government and the Supreme Court of California know that they can do whatever they want to do.

Checks and balances? Out.
Democracy? Overruled.
The voice of the people? Insignificant.

Attorney General Jerry Brown suggested the following as verbiage for this November's ballot:

LIMIT ON MARRIAGE. CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Amends the California Constitution to provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Summary of estimate by Legislative Analyst and Director of Finance of fiscal impact on state and local government: The measure would have no fiscal effect on state or local governments. This is because there would be no change to the manner in which marriages are currently recognized by the state.

Instead, California's Secretary of State revised it to read:

ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state and local governments.

Talk about some creative spin-doctoring.

Why start with such a strong active word like "eliminates?" Not a single ballot measure has used such blatant verbiage in the last fifty years. The way I see it, Prop 8 has nothing to do with bigotry or hatred. It has only become that way because the media, liberal Congressmen and Congresswomen, and evidently, the Secretary of State have all portrayed it as such. And surprise, surprise - the dramalama they're getting is exactly what they wanted. Congratulations on the fantastic PR job, Prop 8 opposers.

Remember, the 14 words (which are the EXACT SAME words that Californian voters approved in 2000 with Proposition 22) "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California" are all you should be voting on. Not creative verbiage. Not what the media tells you. Not PR. Not hype. Not lawn signs. Not because you're scared that if you vote "YES," you'll be perceived as a bigot. Those are not the issues at all. Exercise your right to vote for whatever YOU believe in. Or to keep the courts in check. Or just to prove a point.

-10-key princess

PETA Strikes Again

A quote taken from a letter from PETA's EVP to Ben & Jerry's cofounders, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield:

If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits. Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to (human) breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

Ew. Just, ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

-10-key princess

Wall Street 2008

I have so much to say regarding the Wall Street Crisis of 2008, but I refuse to give my $0.02 until someone else posts something on this blog. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

-10-key princess

Yet Another Dem Scandal

Here's a story that is blazing across headlines today, but will probably be lining the streets tomorrow morning.

My two cents? I think all politicians should just admit to their extramarital affairs up front before taking office, like New York's new governor post-Spitzer, David Paterson. It's not like we don't know already.

-10-key princess

Research, huh, yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

I just read that researchers from the American Allergy Institute released their findings on a study they did on what the most effective research for a mosquito bite was. The answer...drum roll please...

X-ing out a mosquito bite with your fingernails.


Really? People were paid to find this out? In a commissioned study? That was published in the Massachusetts Health Journal? I don't have any more questions? But I like using question marks anyway?

According to one of the doctors who ran the study, the cross technique (as it's known in the medical field) limits the immune response from the binding of IgG and IgE antibodies to antigens in the mosquito's saliva. Typical antihistamines only block the itch, but the cross technique digs deep into the bite and acts to punish the offending irritation.

The article went on to say that out of the 452 of the 500 patients tested, the fingernail cross was found to relieve the skin irritation to an acceptable degree, while most subjects indicated that an added benefit was the subtle enjoyment they had of branding the small "x" over the infected area.

Odd. I wonder who the test subjects were.

This quote pretty much sums the entire study up. When speaking to reporters about the findings, the doctor said, "This is really just an amazing discovery. Not only does it give us much needed relief, but it substantiates what most people already knew."

Good to know. In fact, this study might be stupider than the one about music.

-JT

Under Where, Part 2

The last time I was in Times Square, I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. He had a publicist/manager with him who, in true Sopranos style, said that nobody could take a picture of or with him without shelling out some singles. So I did. I didn't want to be the reason for an unhappy tooshie.

It looks like he's out for more than just singles now. The Naked Cowboy is suing M&M Mars. For millions and millions of dollars.

That's right. The guy who did nothing to be infamous except strip down to his underwear (which is nothing new), paint (in bad manuscript) "Naked Cowboy" on the back of his tighty-whities, and play the guitar with a cowboy hat and long (and not particularly Fabio-esque) hair, is suing giant candy conglomerate USA for their latest ad featuring a hard-shelled blue candy that looks somewhat like him.

His classic quote when asked his reason for suing:
"Type II diabetes and childhood obesity is (an) epidemic," he said. "I am the opposite of that. I don't endorse that product."

My opinion? He should have gotten his mobster dad, Tony, to write something a little more believable for the press.

For the record, if he gets any sort of sizable settlement, I'm going back and asking for a refund.

-SM

Let's get ready to rumble

In this corner, weighing in at a svelt 0.5 oz, some kind of pincher-cockroach thing. And in this corner, weighing a toned 0.75 oz, a gold scorpion.

That's my best guess as to what the announcers at japanesebugfights.com must be saying as they call a live, glass-enclosed fight to the death between two gross bugs. Here's one of 30 fights you can watch on the site.



You can all thank my neighbor and non-gay partner at work for showing me this site. My life instantly became more enriched, and I hope yours will too.

-JT

Oh, Numnah! That's a Relief.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is an event I look forward to every year. And you really wonder why? THIS, readers, is true entertainment at its finest.

Lucky for him, he won.

-SM

Now It All Makes Sense

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. We'll call him "Michael." This wasn't middle school stuff. This was summer-after-middle-school seriousness. We held hands. We went to dances. We ate lunch together. We hung out after school. We went to the library. We went to a couple of GOP events together with our parents in 92. We were in love. Until we broke up 4 months later. We hardly talked after that. We graduated, and off he went to USC.

We never kissed. And the whole time, I was like, what the hell? Why won't he just kiss me? Well, today I got my answer.

Out of the blue, I got an e-mail from a high school friend who told me that she went to his wedding last November. Yes, Michael got married. To a guy. In southern California.

Now I don't know how legitimate this wedding was, since it was only yesterday that the California Supreme Court announced its decision to overturn the state's ban on gay marriage. But I have no doubt that Michael and his partner will seek to legalize whatever union they participated in... as soon as possible. Which looks like it'll be mid-June.

I love it when things come full circle - 15 years later. I guess Michael isn't affiliated with the Republican party anymore, huh?

-10-key princess

This would really suck

And that's an understatement.

Check out this time-lapse video of a man trapped in an elevator for 41 hours. This happened about 10 years ago, but someone got their hands on the surveillance footage.



Whoever put this clip together did a really good job.

-JT

French Class

To keep up on my language skills, I read the news in French every so often. And every so often I come across idioms I've never heard before. Take this one, for example:

Pourquoi Hillary Clinton refuse-t-elle de jeter l'éponge ?
Literally translated: Why does Hillary Clinton refuse to throw away the sponge? (or, "Why doesn't she just give up?")

Other classic French idioms:

• Dans la semaine des quatre jeudis et des trois dimanches (In a week of four Thursdays and three Sundays... or, you could just say "never" and be done with it)
• Les doigts dans le nez (Fingers in the nose... or, "Piece of cake")
• Tout droit (All the way right... or, "Straight ahead," which got me lost plenty of times in Europe until I actually realized what "tout droit" meant)
• Mettre la beurre aux épinards (Put butter on spinach... or "To get lucky")
• Il y a du monde au balcon (There are lots of people on the balcony... or "Nice rack!")
• Casse-toi, pauvre con (Get lost, poor ____... I still don't know the actual literal translation for the word "con." If anyone knows for sure, please post under comments.)

Not like the English language is any less idiomatic, but hey, it's fun to learn new phrases. Especially those insinuating that Hillary is a bad housekeeper. And yes, *why, oh why* does she refuse to throw away the sponge? It's over.

-10-key princess

The Land of the Crazy

Blink. Rub eyes. Shake head. Blink again.

WARNING:
The video you are about to watch is probably one of the most chilling, inappropriately disgusting, horrifying things you will watch. ***Children are not invited to watch. At all.*** And adults may want to save this for when you're really, really drunk.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/pedoidol

And what's great is, some Dutch commentator said, "It’s simply a funny performance of one of the best performers Holland has ever had. It doesn’t surprise me the person that put this on YouTube comes from America, “the land of the crazy."

If that's the case, I'm proud to be an American.

-10-key princess

2008 - The Year of the Vegemite Riots

Australians are sure to be upset about the Chinese ban on foreign food for the 2008 Olympics. Containers en route to Beijing are about to be rejected by customs officials.

Hey, if I had the power to turn away a shipload of Vegemite, I'd do the same thing too. This stuff looks like axle grease, tastes like plain yeast (but certainly not like beer), smells like rotten beef that's been sitting in a moldy, humid, shady Chicago alley for 3 months . . . I just can't describe it.

That said, it's probably how the Aussies view Cheese Whiz, Spam, eggnog, and chili cheese Fritos. Yum.

-10-key princess

Creepy Stuff You Find on Craigslist

So, I was perusing Craigslist tonight and came across this post:

************

urn/ashes optional (mt prospect)

---

Reply to: sale-644079100@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-16, 12:06AM CDT

I am looking for an urn to use as a unit on death for school. If they have ashes I would like to have a pic of the person that is in there and a brief history of that person
************

Just a few things I'd like to comment on:
1. Please, please use correct grammar. Put a period after "person." Please.
2. Why did this person feel compelled to post at 12:06 a.m.?
3. "A unit on death for school." WHAT?
4. Are you really interested in the "person that is in there" enough to sit through a lengthy narrative?
5. If you need to ask the general Craigslist-viewing public for an urn with ashes, do you honestly think they're going to trust a complete stranger with the remains of their loved one?
6. Seriously, this is so creepy, I can't go on.

-10-key princess

A 5.2? And That's News?

A 5.2 magnitude earthquake "rocked" southern Illinois today (102 years to the day since the Great San Francisco Quake) and made headline news.

California born and raised, I guess I just find that funny. I was around when the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake rocked the Bay Area - the quake that interrupted the Battle of the Bay World Series, caused the Bay Bridge to collapse, and made overpasses crumble into pieces. I grew up having an earthquake drill every other week, knowing how to duck and cover, hold onto the desk with one hand, and cover my head/neck with the other. I still never hang a heavy mirror or picture frame above the bed. We have a flashlight and spare shoes by the bed in case windows start to break and we have to make a quick escape. I learned at age 10 how to turn off the gas and water supply lines to our house.

That said - with all of these practical skills, I still don't know what to do when a tornado siren goes off. Anyone?

-SM

Ordering a pizza in 2010

This video about what it will be like to order a pizza in 2010 is funny and creepy. And probably more likely to be true in 2030.

-JT

Oregon Takes the Cake

Two "weird news" labels in one day? Oregon's on a roll.

-SM

Baby for Tweak

I'm speechless.

-SM

Still holding out hope

When I was in elementary school, we did this project where we each wrote a note that was then put inside a balloon. The balloon was then filled with helium and released, free to travel the world and choose someone out there to be the recipient of my note.

For all these years, I was sure that my balloon got tangled in some telephone wires or just popped after hitting a tree branch no more than 200 feet from my school, the note torn to shreds by some birds looking to build a new nest. But this story gives me renewed hope. Sure, this girl used a bottle instead of a balloon (wise choice). And yes, she dropped her bottle in the ocean (smart move). But now, 21 years later, her note was found. And the guy who found her bottle got in touch with her. Pretty cool.

Somewhere, my note is out there. And maybe someday, it'll reach its destination. I just hope that when it does, my note wasn't something like this.

-JT