Under Where, Part 2

The last time I was in Times Square, I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. He had a publicist/manager with him who, in true Sopranos style, said that nobody could take a picture of or with him without shelling out some singles. So I did. I didn't want to be the reason for an unhappy tooshie.

It looks like he's out for more than just singles now. The Naked Cowboy is suing M&M Mars. For millions and millions of dollars.

That's right. The guy who did nothing to be infamous except strip down to his underwear (which is nothing new), paint (in bad manuscript) "Naked Cowboy" on the back of his tighty-whities, and play the guitar with a cowboy hat and long (and not particularly Fabio-esque) hair, is suing giant candy conglomerate USA for their latest ad featuring a hard-shelled blue candy that looks somewhat like him.

His classic quote when asked his reason for suing:
"Type II diabetes and childhood obesity is (an) epidemic," he said. "I am the opposite of that. I don't endorse that product."

My opinion? He should have gotten his mobster dad, Tony, to write something a little more believable for the press.

For the record, if he gets any sort of sizable settlement, I'm going back and asking for a refund.

-SM

The Good Wife's Guide

I don't have much time to do a full commentary right now, but I just got this in an e-mail from a colleague. Click on the picture to read it up close and personal.

Like my mother always said to me, "You should be grateful you weren't born in the 40s." And this is exactly why.

-10-key princess

Text Trolls

I got a text last Friday from someone who wasn't in my phone book. Here is the text:
"Wanna grab a bite?"

I responded:
"Who is this?"

He responded:
"Scott"

I responded:
"Scott who?"

He responded:
"Who is this?"

I responded:
"You texted me."

He responded:
"Oh I was just bored and wanted to eat with someone hot. Are you hot?"

At least I have unlimited texting.

-10-key princess

Would You Rather Be Smart or Thin?

I was at the gym (again) on Friday and like always, someone had left behind their reading material for the next machine user. This time, I was lucky enough to inherit July 2008's Cosmo.

Here are some really substantial, important, fundamental-to-society tidbits I learned during my 50 minutes of cardio:

1. I learned that 56 percent of Cosmo readers would rather be thin than smart. (How sad is that?)

2. I learned how to tell whether two guys sitting together at a movie are gay or straight.











3. I learned that Cosmo has taken on the role of God and has written their own list of 10 commandments, this one to give you a heads up if you're being too bitchy. My favorite? "You just inked a six-figure deal with Midol to be their spokeswoman."















(Seriously, is there anyone out there who a) participates in these surveys, and b) actually reads and believes this stuff? If so, I would like to hear from you.)

-10-key princess

Let's get ready to rumble

In this corner, weighing in at a svelt 0.5 oz, some kind of pincher-cockroach thing. And in this corner, weighing a toned 0.75 oz, a gold scorpion.

That's my best guess as to what the announcers at japanesebugfights.com must be saying as they call a live, glass-enclosed fight to the death between two gross bugs. Here's one of 30 fights you can watch on the site.



You can all thank my neighbor and non-gay partner at work for showing me this site. My life instantly became more enriched, and I hope yours will too.

-JT

With great power comes great responsibility

That's the lesson that Uncle Ben (not the rice guy) gives Peter Parker in Spider-Man. Talk about deep.

I wonder if anyone ever passed this wisdom nugget to Alain Robert. Robert, known more popularly as Spiderman, scaled the New York Times building yesterday. When he got near the top, he opened up a banner that read, "Global warming kills more people than 9/11 every week."


A few hours later, Renaldo Clarke climbed the same building. He wasn't a complete copycat, though, since he didn't have a banner. Tenants inside the building said that Clarke stopped from time to time during his ascent, and he mouthed "What floor am i on?" to onlookers.

Neither of them were hurt, and both of them were arrested. Shocking.

-JT

Emoticon Etiquette

Just very quickly, while I'm still thinking about it:

:) or :-) is a smiley face.
:( or :-( is a frowny face.
;) or ;-) is a wink.
:P is sticking your tongue out at me.

I have a business associate who INSISTS on using the following for her smiley face emoticon:

=D

Why this bothers me so much, I don't know. But seriously, whose eyeballs look like that?

And I promise you, on no IM program is "=D" the hotkey for a smiley face.

-10-key princess

Oh, Numnah! That's a Relief.

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is an event I look forward to every year. And you really wonder why? THIS, readers, is true entertainment at its finest.

Lucky for him, he won.

-SM