Palin for Veep

I'll have to admit, until about 5 hours ago, I had no idea who Sarah Palin was. Who, again? What's her name?

After doing a bit of research, I have to say, I'm quite pleased with the outcome of McCain's choice for Vice President. She's everything he's not. Young. Articulate. A woman. A mother of five. A true conservative.

Yes, democrats will say she's inexperienced and unqualified. Yes, they'll pull the "McCain is how old, and he chose *HER* to replace him if/when he dies?" But just look at who they chose for their candidate for Commander in Chief. Do you *really* want to pull out the experience card? Really?

He's got my vote. I'm starting to feel enthusiasm for my Grand Old Party again. Let's just hope this duo can carry it forward through November.

-10-key princess

The Odd Couple

Rudy and Mitt have been sent to Denver by the GOP to give an unbiased perspective of what's going on at the DNC.

Their theme? "A mile high and an inch deep."

Oh, I have a drrrrty mind.

-10-key princess

Backstreet's back alright

At least you'd think so if you were at my office yesterday.

"Artists in Residence," a music program my office created to get musicians collaborating with us and allowing us to license their music for commercials, brings musicians into the agency for recording sessions. And along the way, they either perform a few songs for whoever wants to come watch, take part in a Q&A, or both.

Well yesterday, the Backstreet Boys were here. Yes, those Backstreet Boys. They were scheduled to perform at 1pm in the huge conference room/meeting room on our main floor, and as much as I didn't want to go, I wanted to go. If for nothing else than to catch a glimpse of everything - the amount of people who didn't have work to do, the number of children whose parents brought them in, the amount of hair gel they use. Unfortunately, I got down there late and the room was packed. People were already spilling out into the hallway.

I managed to peek my head in and catch a glimpse of the blonde guy (I don't know his name), but I was tired of fighting the crowd. So I just stood out in the hallway with a few other friends, waiting to hear something, when BAM - "You are, my fi-ire. The one desi-ire." The crowd inside started screaming like a group of 14 year-old girls as the boy band sang "I Want it That Way." I nearly threw up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I went back up to my desk, laughing at how ridiculous it was. Or maybe I was a tad smitten. Either way, they just need to quit playing games with my heart (with my heart).

-JT

Forced Charity

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells you that it's your turn to do something nice for someone else. This happens a lot in our church: when someone new moves into the area, she's assigned a friend; when someone's pregnant, a sign-up sheet goes around to babysit her other kids; when someone has a baby, a week's worth of meals are assigned out to make sure the new mom is taken care of.

Well, I got one such phone call about 42 hours ago.

A little background information on this family to whom I was asked to give forced charity. They just had their fifth baby under the age of eight. The wife is 30 and the dad is a high profile attorney at a law firm downtown. He makes a decent income and has 90 days of paid paternity leave. There is absolutely no reason he shouldn't be able to a) make dinners for his family, b) order takeout, c) fly in a grandparent to help with the cooking, or d) call Domino's.

Here's how the conversation went:

The assigner of forced charity: "Hi, SM, this is Rae. Kristy had her baby a few days ago and has asked for three weeks worth (are you kidding me?!) of meals to help with the transition. Would you be willing to take a meal over tomorrow night?"
Me: "Well, actually..."
The assigner of forced charity: "Great, thanks. I'll tell her you'll drop off the food at 5:30."

I was guilted in.

So yesterday came and went. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and I hadn't taken anything over. I was tempted to not even go, but I knew that if I didn't, I'd feel the pending guilt for weeks. So I put together a decent meal and drove across town.

The husband (who, let me remind you, brings home lots of money and has 90 days of paid paternity leave but was, for some reason, still in his pajamas at 6:00 p.m.) answered the door with the rest of the clan not far behind. I apologized for being a little late. It's fine, he said sternly. I handed over the food.

The husband: "Do you want me to help you get the rest of the food from the car?"
Me: "Actually, this is it."
The wife: "Oh, SM. I guess you don't know what it takes to actually feed a family of seven."
Me (in my head, but so should have been out loud): "Oh, Kristy. If you have the nerve to ask for three weeks worth of meals from other people, I think you probably have the nerve to throw some chicken nuggets in the microwave for your five kids. By the way, here's a pack of condoms."

Forced charity. I love how it gives me the warm fuzzies.

-SM

That's my name. No, that's MY name.

For the purposes of this story, my name is Jebediah Smith.

Funny story. So I was in Manhattan last weekend for a wedding on my wife's side of the family. Her second cousin was marrying a man who happened to have the same last name as me. It's ethnic, from Israel, and while more common out there, let's just say that it's not as popular here.

Anyway, that's not the funny story. We knew the groom-to-be had the same last name as me. But at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, the father of the groom was giving a toast. And during his toast, he thanked his three children - the groom, the groom's sister, and the groom's brother. The groom's brother's name is Jebediah. My name is Jebediah (although I go by a nickname not related to my birth name, which is a completely different story). When I heard his name, my eyes lit up - I found my name twin.

I hadn't spoken to my name double yet, but I wanted to introduce myself. And since I always try to be the funny guy, I didn't want to just go up to him, extend my hand and say, "Jebediah Smith, I'm Jebediah Smith. Nice to meet you." Lame.

So instead, I pulled out my driver's license, walked up to the other Jebediah, and showed it to him. He took it from me, looked at it carefully, looked up at me and said, "Um. That's not me." So I was like, "I know! That's me! We have the same name!" He kind of smiled, said it was nice to meet me, and handed me back my license. And that was it. Over so quickly.

Clearly, he wasn't nearly as giddy as I was. Maybe Jebediah already found his name twin elsewhere.

-JT (aka Jebediah Smith)

I Went on a Date With an Olympian

You would think it would have occurred to me a long time ago that I went out with someone who had the potential to be an Olympic athlete, but no, it didn't hit me until about 11:00 this morning.

I went to a school with a highly ranked volleyball team, so it's no coincidence that two grads and one of the coaches (that's a separate story, noted here) are involved with the US Men's Olympic Volleyball team.

Anyhow, I was at the gym, watching a bit of NBC when the USA vs. Japan game came on. Lo and behold, there was my date: Rich Lambourne.

I don't remember who arranged it or if we even had a good time. I do remember it had something to do with the fact that he spoke Japanese, and apparently the person who introduced us assumed that I did too. Slightly awkward.

I'm tempted to Facebook friend him and write on his wall. "Hey, Rich, remember me? I'm that girl you went disco skating with in Orem sometime between 1996 and 1997. How's it going? Oh, and good job blocking that spike."

-SM

Grammar Issues

I'm really picky about grammar. Like really picky. I get upset when people don't know the difference between

whose/who's
there/their/they're
to/two/too
your/you're
its/it's

It also makes me cringe to hear things like, "I could care less." (If you could care less, then please do. It wouldn't bother me that you cared more or less about whatever it is you care about, because by now I've moved on.)

So when I watch sports, this gets on my nerves. It's the word "winningest."

The winningest coach.
The winningest Michael Phelps.
The winningest team.
The winningest Chinese athlete.
The winningest basketball player.

Are we Americans that lazy that we can't say, "The coach with the most wins," or "Michael Phelps is superhuman and a freak of nature?"

Well, I did some research. To my surprise, it's in the dictionary. But let me tell you, it's in there as an "informal" word. So if it's informal, why are we reading it in headlines?

For crying out loud.

-10-key princess