If I Talk Louder Will You Understand Me Better?

Hats Off

2009-01-20T15:36:00.003-06:00

I really have no comment. I just wanted it to be documented for posterity that this is what Aretha Franklin wore at President Barack H. Obama's inauguration ceremony while singing "My Country, 'Tis of Thee."

And I just want my children to know that while some may disagree, I personally want to go down on the record as saying that I just don't see this as a fashion do.

That's all.

-SM

An F-ing Valuable Thing

2008-12-09T18:26:00.004-06:00

I continue to be so proud of the leadership from my home state.

Way to go, Rod. I think they managed to catch you dropping the F bomb only 40 times on record.

-10-key princess

Slacker Blogger

2008-11-26T11:47:00.005-06:00

So, I've been a slacker blogger (but so have the others). I do have excuses for being such an irresponsible blogger, though.

In the last month, here's what's been going on.

We have a new President-Elect. A guy I didn't vote for. (Clearly.) I'm less than enthused.
I've gotten into two car accidents. None bad enough to total the car so I can get a new one. So I've had to drive around a loaner, which is just a clever marketing plot by the dealership, I've discovered, since now I desperately *NEED* the newer, nicer, sportier, shinier car with more options.
I had a mini freakout since the market fell more severely than it did in the 1920's. A mini freakout which resulted from getting in on companies that I had assumed hit record lows. But it wasn't the low. So now I'm out - a lot of g's. And I haven't even looked at my 401K. I refuse.
I've been traveling a little bit. Nowhere exotic, but places like Visalia, California. Can anyone say cows?
I've been toying with the idea of going to Africa next May. I've invited all of my close girlfriends to come along, and I have a firm commitment from 2. We need a group of 8 to make the trip worthwhile and get the biggest ROI. Any takers?
I went to go see Twilight and laughed through the whole thing.
I've (nerdily) put some time aside to make maps and strategic shopping spreadsheets for Black Friday. Yes, the annual tradition for the 10-kp sisterhood is back in full force for 2008.

The good news is, I get to be with family and old friends for Thanksgiving. So I have much to be grateful for. Gobble-gobble. In the meantime, enjoy this blast from the past.

-10-key princess

Classy Gifts

2008-10-28T19:39:00.000-05:00

Now that the holidays are just around the corner, I've decided to make a list of great gift ideas that say "class" about a million times more than the standard gift card. And while keeping in mind the present recessionary state of our economy, I've done my best to look for gifts that fit any budget.

For the Gal Pal
Cameo Stationery Set from Kate's Paperie.

This gift, in addition to being classy, is only $30. Blank notes means more flexibility. And you can even monogram or emboss these note cards. Kate's Paperie was one of my most frequented shops while living in New York. But no worries - they ship as well.
Cost: $30 for a set of $25

For the Wannabe Rachael Ray
Culinary Classes in various locations from XperienceDays.com

In addition to being a great resource for that hard-to-please gift recipient, this website offers a variety of "experience" gift options, including culinary classes wherever you are. They're a bit on the pricey side, but if you can find a location that's not quite as touristy (avoid areas like Napa, Sonoma, or New York), you'll have leftover cash for the BART ride home.
Cost: $21 per hour per person ($150 for a 3 1/2 hour session for two)

For the Kids
Local Children's Museum Pass
I have several nieces and nephews, and the quest to find a gift that
a) they don't already have
b) doesn't make annoying sounds that can't be turned off
c) won't get their parents upset with me
d) isn't clutter
is always a challenge. But a year-long membership to a museum is the gift that keeps on giving. (And it forces my nieces and nephews to spend quality time with me whenever I'm around.)
Cost: depends on location, but the average is anywhere from $50-80 per year per family.

For the Demanding Man
Cufflinks in any shape, size, or form at Cufflinks.com
A man in cufflinks automatically oozes class. But men in suits can be boring. Why not help them show their personality with Republican cufflinks or a rhinestone-studded pair for the rocker?
Cost: varies, but there's a link for those starting at under $50 per pair.

For the Entertainer
Table Topics Cubes - in categories like Family Gathering, Right or Wrong, Teen, Couples, Girls Night Out, and Election 2008.
Never again will you be stuck in an uncomfortable situation. I went to a party once where I knew, like, barely one other person. But then the host busted out the Table Topics, and within minutes I 15 new best friends. I've used these in uncomfortable, stuffy executive meetings to break the ice, too.
Cost: $9 for the "to go" topics; $25 for the standard cube set.

Happy shopping!
-10-key princess

143 Days

2008-10-23T10:49:00.003-05:00

An e-mail from a friend:

You couldn't get a job at McDonald's and become district manager after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't become chief of surgery after 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.
You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be the superintendent after 143 days of experience.
You couldn't join the military and become a colonel after a 143 days of experience.
You couldn't get a job as a reporter and become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.

BUT....
From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate. That's how many days the Senate was actually in session and working. After 143 days of work experience, Obama believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief, Leader of the Free World .... 143 days.

We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a good start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start.

AND, strangely, a large sector of the American public is okay with this and campaigning for him. We wouldn't accept this in our own line of work, yet some are okay with this for the President of the United States of America ? Come on folks, we are not voting for the next American Idol!

-10-key princess

Vote YES on Prop 8

2008-10-18T22:34:00.004-05:00

My issue with voting "NO" for Prop 8 has nothing to do with being outspokenly Republican, conservative, or a supporter of family values. It has nothing to do with the homosexual issue, whether people are born gay or straight, whether or not society will crumble because of gay marriage, or how I feel about the subject being taught in schools. No, my issue with it is simple. Doing so will let the California State government and the Supreme Court of California know that they can do whatever they want to do.

Checks and balances? Out.
Democracy? Overruled.
The voice of the people? Insignificant.

Attorney General Jerry Brown suggested the following as verbiage for this November's ballot:

LIMIT ON MARRIAGE. CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Amends the California Constitution to provide that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Summary of estimate by Legislative Analyst and Director of Finance of fiscal impact on state and local government: The measure would have no fiscal effect on state or local governments. This is because there would be no change to the manner in which marriages are currently recognized by the state.

Instead, California's Secretary of State revised it to read:

ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state and local governments.

Talk about some creative spin-doctoring.

Why start with such a strong active word like "eliminates?" Not a single ballot measure has used such blatant verbiage in the last fifty years. The way I see it, Prop 8 has nothing to do with bigotry or hatred. It has only become that way because the media, liberal Congressmen and Congresswomen, and evidently, the Secretary of State have all portrayed it as such. And surprise, surprise - the dramalama they're getting is exactly what they wanted. Congratulations on the fantastic PR job, Prop 8 opposers.

Remember, the 14 words (which are the EXACT SAME words that Californian voters approved in 2000 with Proposition 22) "Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California" are all you should be voting on. Not creative verbiage. Not what the media tells you. Not PR. Not hype. Not lawn signs. Not because you're scared that if you vote "YES," you'll be perceived as a bigot. Those are not the issues at all. Exercise your right to vote for whatever YOU believe in. Or to keep the courts in check. Or just to prove a point.

-10-key princess

". . . We Were Wrong."

2008-10-05T21:11:00.003-05:00

"Frankly, I wish my Democratic colleagues would admit that when it comes to Fannie and Freddie we were wrong."
-Representative Arthur Davis, D-AL 9/30/2008

Watch the whole thing. It's only 10 minutes long.

-10-key princess

If You Had To . . .

2008-10-01T08:10:00.001-05:00

Election day is less than five weeks away.

With so much commotion going on, particularly with the economy, the issues are being overshadowed by excited media analysts, SNL, he-said-she-said, glasses, and the extortion of the definition of rich.

I've half-heartedly succumbed to the notion that the POTUS is nothing more than a talking head. It's all the people who work at his/her feet who are the ones pulling the strings. While it's in our nation's best interest to elect a public official who will serve our needs and take our country in the direction we believe is correct, I've turned off the TV entirely for the next few hours to just take a good look at their general appearance. After all, a good-looking President is better than an ugly one. Look at past examples from history:

George Washington. A man with perfect curls and a great blush brush. Nice cheekbones.

Woodrow Wilson. No combover necessary! Nice jawline, nice three-piece suit. A refined gentleman.

Dwight D. Eisenhower. Just look at those baby blues. I like Ike.

John F. Kennedy. I'll be the first to admit, he was probably our best-looking President to date. Look at those perfect teeth! I wonder if he needed braces.

Ronald Reagan. There is a reason he was an actor. He was hot in his earlier days! And he even still looks distinguished here. Look at his 'kerchief. Only classy men know how to pull that off without looking like a sugadaddy.

I'm curious, now. Which of these pairs do you think look better suited for the Presidency and Vice Presidency? Please comment strictly based on looks alone. Anonymous comments are okay, but it's more fun if you tell me who you are and where you're reading from.

I'll be interested to hear your responses.

-10-key princess

PETA Strikes Again

2008-09-24T20:46:00.000-05:00

A quote taken from a letter from PETA's EVP to Ben & Jerry's cofounders, Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield:

If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers-and cows-would reap the benefits. Using cow's milk for your ice cream is a hazard to your customer's health.

The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to (human) breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream?

Ew. Just, ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

-10-key princess

Obama's Policies "Naive" per Murdoch

2008-09-20T13:46:00.009-05:00

I was scouring Drudge report yesterday and found this article stating exactly what I was hoping somebody would say publicly.

Obama's Economic Policies are Naive

It seems like whenever I say anything remotely negative about Obama to anybody remotely liberal, they automatically retort, "Eight more years of the same! WE NEED CHANGE!" (Brainwashing, anyone?) So it's nice to see someone in the media *finally* take the McCain/Palin side.

Oh, and by the way, in the last eight years, I've graduated college (paid for, partially, by federal grants), worked a professional job making $70k a year (decent by Midwest standards), got a 4-9% raise every year for the next four years, got my MBA, and started a consulting business with small business tax shelters. My friends and family have been safe and protected within the borders of our country. So yes, thank you, Bush Administration, for the last eight years.

I certainly hope we're not headed towards the Socialist Obama America so many people are unknowingly touting.

-10-key princess

Fall 2008 Fashion

2008-09-19T08:57:00.006-05:00

I have a friend who's a stylist, and she helps me pick out pieces every season that will work with and complement my existing wardrobe.

There's one thing I just can't get into this season: booties.

How are these supposed to be flattering? Shoes should make your feet (not to mention your ankles, calves, and legs) look streamlined. All these do is make your feet look six inches wide and your legs look 12 inches shorter than they actually are (which, for those who know me, know I don't have 12 inches to spare).

I don't know who designed these fugly shoes, or decided that these would be hot for fall. My guess? These will be on clearance racks faster than you can say "Better Off Dead."

-SM

Wall Street 2008

2008-09-15T08:11:00.001-05:00

I have so much to say regarding the Wall Street Crisis of 2008, but I refuse to give my $0.02 until someone else posts something on this blog. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

-10-key princess

Lame and Whiny

2008-09-04T20:46:00.001-05:00

Ooohhhh... this irritates me.

-10-key princess

Palin for Veep

2008-08-29T17:25:00.000-05:00

I'll have to admit, until about 5 hours ago, I had no idea who Sarah Palin was. Who, again? What's her name?

After doing a bit of research, I have to say, I'm quite pleased with the outcome of McCain's choice for Vice President. She's everything he's not. Young. Articulate. A woman. A mother of five. A true conservative.

Yes, democrats will say she's inexperienced and unqualified. Yes, they'll pull the "McCain is how old, and he chose *HER* to replace him if/when he dies?" But just look at who they chose for their candidate for Commander in Chief. Do you *really* want to pull out the experience card? Really?

He's got my vote. I'm starting to feel enthusiasm for my Grand Old Party again. Let's just hope this duo can carry it forward through November.

-10-key princess

The Odd Couple

2008-08-27T14:41:00.005-05:00

Rudy and Mitt have been sent to Denver by the GOP to give an unbiased perspective of what's going on at the DNC.

Their theme? "A mile high and an inch deep."

Oh, I have a drrrrty mind.

-10-key princess

Backstreet's back alright

2008-08-26T14:35:00.008-05:00

At least you'd think so if you were at my office yesterday.

"Artists in Residence," a music program my office created to get musicians collaborating with us and allowing us to license their music for commercials, brings musicians into the agency for recording sessions. And along the way, they either perform a few songs for whoever wants to come watch, take part in a Q&A, or both.

Well yesterday, the Backstreet Boys were here. Yes, those Backstreet Boys. They were scheduled to perform at 1pm in the huge conference room/meeting room on our main floor, and as much as I didn't want to go, I wanted to go. If for nothing else than to catch a glimpse of everything - the amount of people who didn't have work to do, the number of children whose parents brought them in, the amount of hair gel they use. Unfortunately, I got down there late and the room was packed. People were already spilling out into the hallway.

I managed to peek my head in and catch a glimpse of the blonde guy (I don't know his name), but I was tired of fighting the crowd. So I just stood out in the hallway with a few other friends, waiting to hear something, when BAM - "You are, my fi-ire. The one desi-ire." The crowd inside started screaming like a group of 14 year-old girls as the boy band sang "I Want it That Way." I nearly threw up.

I couldn't take it anymore. I went back up to my desk, laughing at how ridiculous it was. Or maybe I was a tad smitten. Either way, they just need to quit playing games with my heart (with my heart).

-JT

Forced Charity

2008-08-23T21:53:00.008-05:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells you that it's your turn to do something nice for someone else. This happens a lot in our church: when someone new moves into the area, she's assigned a friend; when someone's pregnant, a sign-up sheet goes around to babysit her other kids; when someone has a baby, a week's worth of meals are assigned out to make sure the new mom is taken care of.

Well, I got one such phone call about 42 hours ago.

A little background information on this family to whom I was asked to give forced charity. They just had their fifth baby under the age of eight. The wife is 30 and the dad is a high profile attorney at a law firm downtown. He makes a decent income and has 90 days of paid paternity leave. There is absolutely no reason he shouldn't be able to a) make dinners for his family, b) order takeout, c) fly in a grandparent to help with the cooking, or d) call Domino's.

Here's how the conversation went:

The assigner of forced charity: "Hi, SM, this is Rae. Kristy had her baby a few days ago and has asked for three weeks worth (are you kidding me?!) of meals to help with the transition. Would you be willing to take a meal over tomorrow night?"
Me: "Well, actually..."
The assigner of forced charity: "Great, thanks. I'll tell her you'll drop off the food at 5:30."

I was guilted in.

So yesterday came and went. Before I knew it, it was 5:30 and I hadn't taken anything over. I was tempted to not even go, but I knew that if I didn't, I'd feel the pending guilt for weeks. So I put together a decent meal and drove across town.

The husband (who, let me remind you, brings home lots of money and has 90 days of paid paternity leave but was, for some reason, still in his pajamas at 6:00 p.m.) answered the door with the rest of the clan not far behind. I apologized for being a little late. It's fine, he said sternly. I handed over the food.

The husband: "Do you want me to help you get the rest of the food from the car?"
Me: "Actually, this is it."
The wife: "Oh, SM. I guess you don't know what it takes to actually feed a family of seven."
Me (in my head, but so should have been out loud): "Oh, Kristy. If you have the nerve to ask for three weeks worth of meals from other people, I think you probably have the nerve to throw some chicken nuggets in the microwave for your five kids. By the way, here's a pack of condoms."

Forced charity. I love how it gives me the warm fuzzies.

-SM

That's my name. No, that's MY name.

2008-08-22T21:58:00.006-05:00

For the purposes of this story, my name is Jebediah Smith.

Funny story. So I was in Manhattan last weekend for a wedding on my wife's side of the family. Her second cousin was marrying a man who happened to have the same last name as me. It's ethnic, from Israel, and while more common out there, let's just say that it's not as popular here.

Anyway, that's not the funny story. We knew the groom-to-be had the same last name as me. But at the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, the father of the groom was giving a toast. And during his toast, he thanked his three children - the groom, the groom's sister, and the groom's brother. The groom's brother's name is Jebediah. My name is Jebediah (although I go by a nickname not related to my birth name, which is a completely different story). When I heard his name, my eyes lit up - I found my name twin.

I hadn't spoken to my name double yet, but I wanted to introduce myself. And since I always try to be the funny guy, I didn't want to just go up to him, extend my hand and say, "Jebediah Smith, I'm Jebediah Smith. Nice to meet you." Lame.

So instead, I pulled out my driver's license, walked up to the other Jebediah, and showed it to him. He took it from me, looked at it carefully, looked up at me and said, "Um. That's not me." So I was like, "I know! That's me! We have the same name!" He kind of smiled, said it was nice to meet me, and handed me back my license. And that was it. Over so quickly.

Clearly, he wasn't nearly as giddy as I was. Maybe Jebediah already found his name twin elsewhere.

-JT (aka Jebediah Smith)

I Went on a Date With an Olympian

2008-08-18T17:08:00.005-05:00

You would think it would have occurred to me a long time ago that I went out with someone who had the potential to be an Olympic athlete, but no, it didn't hit me until about 11:00 this morning.

I went to a school with a highly ranked volleyball team, so it's no coincidence that two grads and one of the coaches (that's a separate story, noted here) are involved with the US Men's Olympic Volleyball team.

Anyhow, I was at the gym, watching a bit of NBC when the USA vs. Japan game came on. Lo and behold, there was my date: Rich Lambourne.

I don't remember who arranged it or if we even had a good time. I do remember it had something to do with the fact that he spoke Japanese, and apparently the person who introduced us assumed that I did too. Slightly awkward.

I'm tempted to Facebook friend him and write on his wall. "Hey, Rich, remember me? I'm that girl you went disco skating with in Orem sometime between 1996 and 1997. How's it going? Oh, and good job blocking that spike."

-SM

Grammar Issues

2008-08-16T12:25:00.005-05:00

I'm really picky about grammar. Like really picky. I get upset when people don't know the difference between

whose/who's
there/their/they're
to/two/too
your/you're
its/it's

It also makes me cringe to hear things like, "I could care less." (If you could care less, then please do. It wouldn't bother me that you cared more or less about whatever it is you care about, because by now I've moved on.)

So when I watch sports, this gets on my nerves. It's the word "winningest."

The winningest coach.
The winningest Michael Phelps.
The winningest team.
The winningest Chinese athlete.
The winningest basketball player.

Are we Americans that lazy that we can't say, "The coach with the most wins," or "Michael Phelps is superhuman and a freak of nature?"

Well, I did some research. To my surprise, it's in the dictionary. But let me tell you, it's in there as an "informal" word. So if it's informal, why are we reading it in headlines?

For crying out loud.

-10-key princess

New Olympics event

2008-08-12T13:41:00.002-05:00

Urban Gymnastics.

-JT

Oranges, Part 2

2008-08-09T22:39:00.005-05:00

Earlier I mentioned that my husband and I get into silly disagreements over trivial things. Well, today is no exception. I went to the city today and ended up locking myself out of the car. Yes, I'm that dumb.

Regardless, I handled the situation in spite of a not-so-helpful Chicago cop and a guy who tried to slim jim my car using a wire hanger. Neither of them got me into the car, so I ended up calling for roadside assistance, who came to my rescue using an assortment of break-and-enter tools I'd never seen before.

You would think the story ends there, but allow me to vent for a minute.

I called my husband to tell him what was going on. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "I locked myself out of the car. Don't worry, roadside assistance is coming to help. I just wanted to let you know what's going on."
Him: "Okay. I gotta run. The kiddo is acting up." Click.

A couple of minutes later, he called back.
Him: "Did you get into the car yet?"
Me: "No, not yet, but they just called and someone's coming soon."
Him: "So I don't have to go out to the city and rescue you?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Thank goodness. Okay. Bye."

At this point, I'm really feeling the love.

When I got home later in the afternoon, we wrapped up the conversation:
Him: "So did roadside assistance slim jim the car?"
Me: "No. Actually, someone did try to break in using a bent wire hanger, but that didn't work so that's when roadside assistance showed up."
Him: "What? NEVER, EVER, EVER let anyone ever do that. That can really mess up the mechanism of the power locks."
Me: "Um, it didn't mess it up."
Him: "It's just common sense. Don't let anyone do it again."

The best part? He just poked me on Facebook. As if that will make me want to speak to him right now.

-SM

A musician to keep your eye on

2008-08-09T09:28:00.004-05:00

Joshua Radin. Remember his name. He's an acoustic alternative singer/songwriter. He plays and sings with an understated style that I can't really describe unless you see him live. And with him, less is more. It's this quiet style that has enough power to bring an entire concert hall, like the House of Blues last night, to complete silence. Wow.

Last night I went to go see him perform live for my second time, and it was amazing. It was kind of my birthday present, although not really since I bought the tickets myself. Now I'm normally not a fan of the House of Blues because they just pack people in and there aren't many places to sit, but it wasn't sold out last night. I was able to score a stool and then eventually a table, and I was set.

Anyway - the show was so good. Vanessa Carlton and Alexa Wilkinson opened. I was pleasantly surprised by Carlton, since I only knew her popular song. But her performance was nothing compared to Joshua Radin's set. He played songs from his older records, like "Lovely Tonight," "You've Got Growing Up to Do" and all my favorites. And he also played some songs that will be on his new record. The crowd was hushed, and he even acknowledged how cool it was to play in front of so many silent people.

The best part of the show? No, not that he disclosed how he ate at Potbelly's twice on Friday. It was when he came out for the obligatory encore. Instead of playing one of his songs on stage, he climbed down the stage, got right in the middle of the pit at HOB where everyone stands and played the Bob Dylan ballad "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" in the middle of the crowd. He was belting it out since he had no mic, and I'd never seen anything like it.

As I said before - wow.

-JT

Yet Another Dem Scandal

2008-08-08T23:19:00.001-05:00

Here's a story that is blazing across headlines today, but will probably be lining the streets tomorrow morning.

My two cents? I think all politicians should just admit to their extramarital affairs up front before taking office, like New York's new governor post-Spitzer, David Paterson. It's not like we don't know already.

-10-key princess

I'm Bored

2008-08-08T20:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know whether to be elated or depressed that I'm home alone on a Friday night. Well, to avoid being either, I've decided to make a list of 10 things that I can do tonight and stop whining about being bored.

1. Paint my toenails
2. Read "The Devil Wears Prada" since it's been on my bookshelf for 2 years now
3. Watch all the backlogged SYTYCD episodes on Tivo
4. Give myself a day off from the diet and bake brownies
5. Finally look at that knitting book my sister gave me and give it a go
6. Research pets that are low maintenance yet give lots of love
7. Rearrange the furniture
8. Pay bills
9. Color my hair
10. Sort and organize my pictures, give them titles, create slideshows, add music, and after all that, backup my computer

See? Who says you need plans every weekend? But now, I'm just overwhelmed with all the stuff I have to get done before tonight is over.

-10-key princess

Step out the front door like a ghost into the fog

2008-08-04T09:41:00.005-05:00

Where no one notices the contrast of white on white.

Those are the first two lines of my favorite song, Round Here by the Counting Crows. I'm a sucker for live music, especially involving an acoustic guitar, and now I can listen to about as much live music from Adam Duritz and his band through the site livecountingcrows.com as I want.

The site was launched last week, and you can purchase and download live Counting Crows shows. Every single show, beginning with the July 28th show, will be added to the site within 72 hours, and they're planning to release archived shows periodically. They offered a free show to the first 10,000 fans who signed up, so I was able to see what it's all about.

It's freaking amazing.

-JT

Britney, Paris on McCain Ad

2008-07-30T10:42:00.003-05:00

I get what he's trying to convey.

Obama = celebrity.

The presidential race should not be about who's more popular or who can put on a better show. Hitler was popular. Mussolini was popular. Mao was popular.

Well done, team McCain.

-10-key princess

Extreme Foreclosure

2008-07-29T18:06:00.003-05:00

More bad news for the economy: foreclosures are still on the upswing. Even free houses are going into foreclosure.

The Harper Family of Lake City, GA, had their bacteria-infested house razed and a mini castle built in its place by the good people at ABC - Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and Beazer Homes (who are amid their own little crisis right now, but that's for another post). Now, it seems they're on the verge of losing it all and going right back to their minivan because of their poor business acumen.

I can't decide whether I feel sorry for them or not. On one hand, theirs was truly a sob story. On the other, well, they're only adding to the "Stupid Americans" stereotype. Hmm... decisions, decisions.

-10-key princess

My Induction into NASCAR

2008-07-28T21:20:00.028-05:00

To this northern urbanite, NASCAR has always seemed like a redneck sport. I'm used to Wrigley where most people are bandwagon fans and aren't even there to watch the game. So imagine my shock when I, along with about 20 co-workers and our friends, rolled up to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway on Sunday to take in the Allstate 400 at the Brickyard NASCAR race. I was in sensory overload, so I tried to snapped a ton of pictures throughout the day.

I mean, these race fans are Hard Core, with a capital 'H' and 'C.' They don't just root for their favorite drivers, they bleed for them. Some literally. One of the women with us, who happened to be an admin at my office, has a tattoo of the number 3 car on her ankle in homage to Dale Earnhardt Sr., who died in a wreck during a race five years ago. Besides her ink, these guys caught my eye, or lense, I suppose.

Two of Nascar's finest.

The race itself was fun, despite the heat, which made it feel like I was melting in the stands. Luckily, though, since we were there because of our involvement in the ad campaign, we had passes to the Allstate hospitality tent. It featured food, drinks and free A/C. It was a frequent destination for all of us posers.

Jimmie Johnson ended up winning the race, which made me $125 richer. On the way down to Indy, a bunch of us decided it'd be fun to put the top 25 drivers' names in a hat and randomly pick one for $5 a pop. If your driver wins the race, you win the pot. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I pulled Johnson's name. While this doesn't make up for Memphis choking during the NCAA Final Four Championship Game , it was still nice to win. And in true Indianapolis Motor Speedway form, the race winner always kisses the row of bricks. Since it's tradition, I followed suit.

I may or may not have slipped in some tongue.

At the end of it all, I left with more of an appreciation for NASCAR. It's the fastest growing sport in the U.S., and the fans definitely know how to have a good time. They party from about three days before the race starts until well after the race is over. This was my inaugural race, and since I know how exhausted I was after coming into town the morning of and then leaving that evening, I feel these people's pain.

This guy was out like a light - immediately after the race was over.

And so was he. His friends, not so much.

An overserved fan being consoled by her boyfriend, who can't use two hands because then he'd drop his beer.

I just hope they all got home eventually. Or maybe even to next week's race track. And if you expect me to know where that is, I apologize. I'm not that big of a fan. Yet.

-JT

Mini Clubbing

2008-07-27T19:29:00.005-05:00

I recently discovered that if you own a Mini Cooper, you can join an exclusive owner's club, which features up-to-date information on nationwide Mini events. I happened to be in Chicago yesterday to witness one of these events firsthand, the "Mini Takes the States 2008 - Chicago." I was forcibly stuck watching probably 300+ Minis Cooper-vaning up to Wisconsin's "Road America" race track.

While outwardly I'm bitter about having to yield to the parade of Minis, deep down, it made me secretly want to be part of a cool car club. It was actually pretty impressive to see how each owner personalized their cars and made them unique. Unfortunately, they don't have a club for such mainstream cars as the Honda Civic or Toyota Rav 4.

What a brilliant way to drive up demand for their product. Props to the marketing department at headquarters. They actually made me want one of these for a day. (Incidentally, I did see a zipcar Mini drive by. So somebody actually did just get one for the day. I guess that's one way of feeling like an insider.)

-SM

Breaking News

2008-07-23T09:52:00.008-05:00

Despite the rumors, I will not be running for Vice President alongside Barack Obama during the upcoming presidential election. I'm just way too busy. I just wanted to let Mr. Obama know that he should look elsewhere.

Sorry. I figured I'd just follow Al Gore's lead. Last Friday, everyone's favorite environmentalist announced that he will not serve as Barack Obama's running mate. One thing, though - Obama never asked Gore to be his Vice President.

I say we start an online video movement where people film themselves turning down an unsolicited VP-request from Barack Obama. Like, "Barack - You're probably thinking of me to be your Vice President come November, but I'm just telling you now so you have enough notice that my family and I are supposed to be on vacation October 17 - October 30. And then there's Halloween and busy season at work. So I'm going to have to pass on the VP front. Thanks, though. Good luck."

How funny would that be? Hillaryous, if you ask me.

-JT

Research, huh, yeah. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

2008-07-18T15:07:00.007-05:00

I just read that researchers from the American Allergy Institute released their findings on a study they did on what the most effective research for a mosquito bite was. The answer...drum roll please...

X-ing out a mosquito bite with your fingernails.

Really? People were paid to find this out? In a commissioned study? That was published in the Massachusetts Health Journal? I don't have any more questions? But I like using question marks anyway?

According to one of the doctors who ran the study, the cross technique (as it's known in the medical field) limits the immune response from the binding of IgG and IgE antibodies to antigens in the mosquito's saliva. Typical antihistamines only block the itch, but the cross technique digs deep into the bite and acts to punish the offending irritation.

The article went on to say that out of the 452 of the 500 patients tested, the fingernail cross was found to relieve the skin irritation to an acceptable degree, while most subjects indicated that an added benefit was the subtle enjoyment they had of branding the small "x" over the infected area.

Odd. I wonder who the test subjects were.

This quote pretty much sums the entire study up. When speaking to reporters about the findings, the doctor said, "This is really just an amazing discovery. Not only does it give us much needed relief, but it substantiates what most people already knew."

Good to know. In fact, this study might be stupider than the one about music.

-JT

Stream of consciousness

2008-07-15T22:23:00.009-05:00

Rather than blog about one specific topic tonight, I decided on a brain dump after having a stressful week (month, maybe?). Here are some happy, philosophical, sad and irreverent thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head recently. Ready? Take a deep breath...

I believe the Cubbies rule more than most people, but even I think it's ridiculous that Carlos Marmlol freaking made the All-Star team after the way he's pitched this past month.

Are ideas ownable? When do they become yours? My boss took an idea that the Chief Creative Officer (CCO) of our company had for a new business project I'm working on and is trying to pawn it off as his own. How do I know this? Because I overheard my boss telling someone else that he had a meeting with the CCO who had a suggestion for a TV commercial. Lo and behold, when my partner and I presented work a day or two later, our boss was like, "That actually kind of works with an idea I had," and then proceeded to tell us the exact idea that the CCO told him. Shady. It makes me wonder how many of our ideas became his ideas when he presented them to the clients.

AVP beach volleyball is awwwwwwesome. I wish my beach skills were 8.31% of the skills of the pros on that tour. But at least all 5'9" of me got to meet and take a picture with 6'3" Kerri Walsh, who's the #1 women's beach volleyball player in the world. Take a look below. It wasn't awkward at all.

To keep my celebrity encounters rolling - on my way to catch the bus to go home after watching the AVP all day, I was walking on the bike path. I happened to look over my left shoulder, and right there next to me was Chicago Bears head coach Lovie Smith on his bike. I was like, "Hey! Lovie Smith." he was all quiet with a quick, "Yeah." I asked if I could get a picture with him. He obliged and got off his bike. Then he walked his bike in front of me to get on my right (not sure why), and, of course, ran over my flip-flop outfitted foot with his front tire. Luckily for me, he was walking his bike. Luckily for him, he apologized.

Today was my company's summer outing - a scavenger hunt/trek downtown, kind of like the Amazing Race, that ended with a barbecue. It was an absolute blast. We had to complete missions using problem-solving, video, photography, bartering and good old-fashioned charm. I might could have enjoyed it more had I not been called back to work, but it was still fun.

One of my friends from childhood passed away yesterday after a battle with pulmonary fibrosis. We had grown apart as we got older and he went to a different high school, but I've run into him on many occasions at some of the neighborhood festivals over the years. He had been on a waiting list for a double-lung transplant for the past few years, which unfortunately didn't come through in time. Even though he had been sick for a while now, the news still came as a shock. Death has a way of doing that.

Ok, you can breathe again. Goodnight. Sleep well.

-JT

Scenes From My Kind of Town

2008-07-11T17:40:00.010-05:00

For the loyal readers of understandbetter, I present to you the "Best of Chicago - Summer Scenes 2008 Edition."

Creative advertising by Dominicks. Or maybe I just have a dirty mind.

A million billion people rushing the loop after fireworks.

Note to self: always look at myself from all angles before leaving the house so I don't end up on someone else's blog for looking like this. (Sorry, I couldn't resist taking this picture.)

Ah. Wrigley Field. The Cubbies rule (2004).

Whoever the ad agency was that came up with the Pillsbury Doughboy deserves a gold star.

I love this city and its people.

-10-key princess

Starting a Business

2008-07-11T15:28:00.008-05:00

I'm starting a new business.

I just met with some business counselors, and here's my "have to find" list for the week:
An attorney.
An accountant.
A graphic designer. check
A web programmer. check
A copywriter. check
A printer.
A dry ingredients supplier.
A perishable ingredients supplier.
A packaging supplier. check
A food permit.
A marketing intern.
A baker. check

Oh, and I have to register my business with every county I'm going to be doing business in. And then I have to submit that to the newspapers and let them run it for three weeks.

I could go on and on, but the list is so long, it's ridiculous.

Thanks for letting me vent.

-SM

This is JT in da Chi-town

2008-07-11T08:27:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to, as they say in the radio business, give a quick shout-out to my bri-ish mum this morning. She's having a few horrible procedures today and is pretty down. And to see my drill sergeant-like dad show compassion yesterday and today was both shocking and incredibly nice to hear. Mom - we're all thinking about you and you'll be feeling better in no time.

-JT

Ache - James Carrington

2008-07-10T19:08:00.008-05:00

A beautiful live version of this amazingly heart-wrenching song . . .

-10-key princess

What a homer

2008-07-10T09:38:00.007-05:00

Up to now, I've thought that the entire Chicago White Sox ad campaign was stupid - and that has nothing to do with me being a huge Cubs fan. It has to do with the fact that the ads, both on tv and outdoor, have been cheesy. And that some don't even make sense in a baseball world. But as much as I hate the White Sox, I can't help but laugh at the latest commercial from the campaign that's airing in Chicago.

Anyway, this new commercial stars A.J Pierzynski, the notoriously annoying and hard-headed White Sox catcher. It involves the cardboard signs that are prevalent throughout the entire campaign (which is a big part of what I think makes the campaign dumb). In the spot, Pierzynski's being told to bunt by both his third base coach, who he shakes off, and then by manager Ozzie Guillen, who he also defies.

But then, the camera cuts to a fan in the stands holding up a "Bunt" sign, and it's none other than Chicago Mayor Richard Daley, who's never hidden his love of the White Sox. When Pierzynski sees the order from the Mayor, this time he obliges and puts down a bunt. It's funny. It's unexpected. And it shows who Chicago's boss really is. It also marks the first time Daley, who I happen to be a big fan of for what he's done for this city, has ever appeared in a commercial that wasn't political.

Youtube won't allow me to post it anywhere, so click here if you'd like to watch it. Even this Cubs fan has to admit that it's good.

-JT

P.S. I know there were questions as to whether this blog was dead. I thought about it, and I intend to continue contributing. I hope the same goes for 10-key princess and SM.

Under Where, Part 2

2008-06-28T20:17:00.006-05:00

The last time I was in Times Square, I got my picture taken with The Naked Cowboy. He had a publicist/manager with him who, in true Sopranos style, said that nobody could take a picture of or with him without shelling out some singles. So I did. I didn't want to be the reason for an unhappy tooshie.

It looks like he's out for more than just singles now. The Naked Cowboy is suing M&M Mars. For millions and millions of dollars.

That's right. The guy who did nothing to be infamous except strip down to his underwear (which is nothing new), paint (in bad manuscript) "Naked Cowboy" on the back of his tighty-whities, and play the guitar with a cowboy hat and long (and not particularly Fabio-esque) hair, is suing giant candy conglomerate USA for their latest ad featuring a hard-shelled blue candy that looks somewhat like him.

His classic quote when asked his reason for suing:
"Type II diabetes and childhood obesity is (an) epidemic," he said. "I am the opposite of that. I don't endorse that product."

My opinion? He should have gotten his mobster dad, Tony, to write something a little more believable for the press.

For the record, if he gets any sort of sizable settlement, I'm going back and asking for a refund.

-SM

The Good Wife's Guide

2008-06-18T11:54:00.005-05:00

I don't have much time to do a full commentary right now, but I just got this in an e-mail from a colleague. Click on the picture to read it up close and personal.

Like my mother always said to me, "You should be grateful you weren't born in the 40s." And this is exactly why.

-10-key princess

Text Trolls

2008-06-16T08:20:00.008-05:00

I got a text last Friday from someone who wasn't in my phone book. Here is the text:
"Wanna grab a bite?"

I responded:
"Who is this?"

He responded:
"Scott"

I responded:
"Scott who?"

He responded:
"Who is this?"

I responded:
"You texted me."

He responded:
"Oh I was just bored and wanted to eat with someone hot. Are you hot?"

At least I have unlimited texting.

-10-key princess

Would You Rather Be Smart or Thin?

2008-06-16T07:47:00.011-05:00

I was at the gym (again) on Friday and like always, someone had left behind their reading material for the next machine user. This time, I was lucky enough to inherit July 2008's Cosmo.

Here are some really substantial, important, fundamental-to-society tidbits I learned during my 50 minutes of cardio:

1. I learned that 56 percent of Cosmo readers would rather be thin than smart. (How sad is that?)

2. I learned how to tell whether two guys sitting together at a movie are gay or straight.

3. I learned that Cosmo has taken on the role of God and has written their own list of 10 commandments, this one to give you a heads up if you're being too bitchy. My favorite? "You just inked a six-figure deal with Midol to be their spokeswoman."

(Seriously, is there anyone out there who a) participates in these surveys, and b) actually reads and believes this stuff? If so, I would like to hear from you.)

-10-key princess

Let's get ready to rumble

2008-06-10T09:36:00.004-05:00

In this corner, weighing in at a svelt 0.5 oz, some kind of pincher-cockroach thing. And in this corner, weighing a toned 0.75 oz, a gold scorpion.

That's my best guess as to what the announcers at japanesebugfights.com must be saying as they call a live, glass-enclosed fight to the death between two gross bugs. Here's one of 30 fights you can watch on the site.

You can all thank my neighbor and non-gay partner at work for showing me this site. My life instantly became more enriched, and I hope yours will too.

-JT

With great power comes great responsibility

2008-06-06T11:03:00.002-05:00

That's the lesson that Uncle Ben (not the rice guy) gives Peter Parker in Spider-Man. Talk about deep.

I wonder if anyone ever passed this wisdom nugget to Alain Robert. Robert, known more popularly as Spiderman, scaled the New York Times building yesterday. When he got near the top, he opened up a banner that read, "Global warming kills more people than 9/11 every week."

A few hours later, Renaldo Clarke climbed the same building. He wasn't a complete copycat, though, since he didn't have a banner. Tenants inside the building said that Clarke stopped from time to time during his ascent, and he mouthed "What floor am i on?" to onlookers.

Neither of them were hurt, and both of them were arrested. Shocking.

-JT

Emoticon Etiquette

2008-06-05T21:46:00.004-05:00

Just very quickly, while I'm still thinking about it:

:) or :-) is a smiley face.
:( or :-( is a frowny face.
;) or ;-) is a wink.
:P is sticking your tongue out at me.

I have a business associate who INSISTS on using the following for her smiley face emoticon:

=D

Why this bothers me so much, I don't know. But seriously, whose eyeballs look like that?

And I promise you, on no IM program is "=D" the hotkey for a smiley face.

-10-key princess

Oh, Numnah! That's a Relief.

2008-06-03T02:03:00.004-05:00

The Scripps National Spelling Bee is an event I look forward to every year. And you really wonder why? THIS, readers, is true entertainment at its finest.

Lucky for him, he won.

-SM

In honor of the latest Indiana Jones movie

2008-05-27T09:40:00.003-05:00

Check out this re-creation of the famous Indiana Jones scene where Indy's running from a rolling boulder. There are a few subtle differences, but I'll leave that up to you to find for yourself.

The lego supply must be down everywhere else across the world.

-JT

Deceptively Delicious

2008-05-23T14:26:00.005-05:00

Like every other parent on the planet, I've been having issues getting my son to even contemplate trying vegetables. No, I shouldn't say that. He likes those plain peas, carrots, and corn you get in a bag for $0.89 at the Jewel. But when it comes to fresh broccoli, cauliflower, squash, bell peppers, tomatoes, celery, lettuce, or zucchini, this is what he says:
"Mommy, when I was a little baby, I used to eat those things. But not anymore. I'm a BIG BOY!"

So the challenge to incorporate healthy foods into his diet has begun. So I researched, and looked online, and watched Oprah - of course.

Jessica Seinfeld (wife to Jerry) was featured on Oprah with her new-ish recipe book called "Deceptively Delicious." Essentially, the concept is that if you puree vegetables and mix them into foods like brownies, muffins, cupcakes, pizza dough, chicken nugget coating, deviled eggs, spaghetti, mashed potatoes, sloppy joes, etc., then your kids won't know they're eating them.

I have two issues with this.

First, I want my kid to KNOW that he's eating vegetables. I want him to grow up understanding that it's a healthy part of his diet. Hiding it in his food isn't going to do him any favors when he goes to college and says, "My mom never made me eat vegetables," when really, I did all along, but he just didn't know it.

Second (and seriously, this is where the rant comes in), I'm sure Jessica Seinfeld wasn't the first person in the world to think of hiding vegetables in food. I mean, come on! Just because you have a famous husband and a celebrity last name, you get the rights to selling pureed food in cookbook form?

Rant over. And now I'm off. Off to try this particular recipe that looks super duper appetizing: Lemon Raspberry Cupcakes with Yellow Squash and Beets.

Yum.

-SM

A herd of sheep just passed my office...

2008-05-23T05:54:00.004-05:00

No really.

My apologies for being absent. Writer's block coupled with a few conferences plus a pile of work never going away is why Science Saturdays haven't been happening. My apologies.

Instead of leaving you dear readers in suspense, I hereby offer my resignation as czar of cznark and czience. As a send-off I give you this:

Chow for now,

Now It All Makes Sense

2008-05-16T13:48:00.004-05:00

I was 14 when I had my first boyfriend. We'll call him "Michael." This wasn't middle school stuff. This was summer-after-middle-school seriousness. We held hands. We went to dances. We ate lunch together. We hung out after school. We went to the library. We went to a couple of GOP events together with our parents in 92. We were in love. Until we broke up 4 months later. We hardly talked after that. We graduated, and off he went to USC.

We never kissed. And the whole time, I was like, what the hell? Why won't he just kiss me? Well, today I got my answer.

Out of the blue, I got an e-mail from a high school friend who told me that she went to his wedding last November. Yes, Michael got married. To a guy. In southern California.

Now I don't know how legitimate this wedding was, since it was only yesterday that the California Supreme Court announced its decision to overturn the state's ban on gay marriage. But I have no doubt that Michael and his partner will seek to legalize whatever union they participated in... as soon as possible. Which looks like it'll be mid-June.

I love it when things come full circle - 15 years later. I guess Michael isn't affiliated with the Republican party anymore, huh?

-10-key princess

This would really suck

2008-05-15T11:20:00.003-05:00

And that's an understatement.

Check out this time-lapse video of a man trapped in an elevator for 41 hours. This happened about 10 years ago, but someone got their hands on the surveillance footage.

Whoever put this clip together did a really good job.

-JT

French Class

2008-05-12T23:10:00.009-05:00

To keep up on my language skills, I read the news in French every so often. And every so often I come across idioms I've never heard before. Take this one, for example:

Pourquoi Hillary Clinton refuse-t-elle de jeter l'éponge ?
Literally translated: Why does Hillary Clinton refuse to throw away the sponge? (or, "Why doesn't she just give up?")

Other classic French idioms:

Dans la semaine des quatre jeudis et des trois dimanches (In a week of four Thursdays and three Sundays... or, you could just say "never" and be done with it)
Les doigts dans le nez (Fingers in the nose... or, "Piece of cake")
Tout droit (All the way right... or, "Straight ahead," which got me lost plenty of times in Europe until I actually realized what "tout droit" meant)
Mettre la beurre aux épinards (Put butter on spinach... or "To get lucky")
Il y a du monde au balcon (There are lots of people on the balcony... or "Nice rack!")
Casse-toi, pauvre con (Get lost, poor ____... I still don't know the actual literal translation for the word "con." If anyone knows for sure, please post under comments.)

Not like the English language is any less idiomatic, but hey, it's fun to learn new phrases. Especially those insinuating that Hillary is a bad housekeeper. And yes, *why, oh why* does she refuse to throw away the sponge? It's over.

-10-key princess

I'm going to start doing this every morning

2008-05-08T09:59:00.001-05:00

I just need someone to hold my jeans out for me. Any volunteers?

-JT

Hillary really was under attack when she visited Bosnia

2008-05-07T16:24:00.003-05:00

See? And everyone thought she was lying...

-JT

The Land of the Crazy

2008-05-01T21:04:00.003-05:00

Blink. Rub eyes. Shake head. Blink again.

WARNING:
The video you are about to watch is probably one of the most chilling, inappropriately disgusting, horrifying things you will watch. ***Children are not invited to watch. At all.*** And adults may want to save this for when you're really, really drunk.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/pedoidol

And what's great is, some Dutch commentator said, "It’s simply a funny performance of one of the best performers Holland has ever had. It doesn’t surprise me the person that put this on YouTube comes from America, “the land of the crazy."

If that's the case, I'm proud to be an American.

-10-key princess

Blame It On the Rain

2008-04-30T11:55:00.008-05:00

With gas prices on track to hitting $7/gallon within the next four years (gas prices are hovering around $120/barrel; estimates show $200/barrel by 2012), I thought I'd give a little (totally personal, and totally independent from my job) analysis of what's going on.

OPEC controls only half of the world's supply of oil. So if prices are skyrocketing over there, then theoretically, the world's non-cartel suppliers should step up to fill the void. But this isn't happening. Why? Who's to blame?

The average consumer will blame Big Oil immediately. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Big Oil is getting tax breaks while they post record profits for 1Q 2008? I'm going to boycott them by not filling up for an entire day at ________ (enter most hated gas station here.)" The fact is, that's just stupid thinking.

Yes, Big Oil is rolling in the profits. Yes, they're getting more tax breaks (with the initial intent to actually promote exploration and alternative energy sources, which isn't immediately realized by the average American consumer.) However, profit margins for Big Oil are only slightly higher than the average for the S&P 500. These companies are pumping back their profits in the way of dividends, capital spending, employment, etc. They're worthy of getting a hit or two from us, but unfortunately, they aren't entirely to blame.

Speculators seem to be the highest source for media and consumer-driven panic right now. Did you know that the first day of trading 2008, some jackass on Wall Street decided - hey, I'm going to go down in the books as being the first person to close trading on a barrel of oil at $100+? That said, ultimately, the traders get burned faster than the consumers.

As I mentioned before, OPEC only controls 50% of the supply in the world. When oil prices go up, other countries with oil supply (England, Norway, Russia, Canada, etc.) open up to take advantage of these high prices. This, economically, should decrease price. But disruptions in supply in all of those countries (by as much as 65%) makes me think that maybe speculators have a reason to . . . well, panic.

Basic economics says that China and India might have something to do with skyrocketing prices. After all, as the middle class grows in these countries, they buy cars. Cars require fuel. Demand sharply increases, supply remains the same (or goes down), and market equilibrium shoots way, way up. That said, China and India's demand for oil is steady. It doesn't explain why, in 2004, we were paying $1.20 for a gallon of gas, and 4 years later we're paying $4.00. The increase in demand and price surge doesn't correlate.

The falling of the value of the dollar is a legitimate potential reason. Oil is priced in USD. Interest rates have been low in recent years, so of course the value of the dollar is low. When the value of the dollar is low, it takes more on our part to buy high-priced oil. We should be more concerned about the credit/mortgage crisis than the oil crisis, because once that's resolved, I anticipate some alleviation to the crunch our budgets are feeling right now.

So, my general conclusion: blame it on the rain. Yeah, yeah.

-10-key princess

2008 - The Year of the Vegemite Riots

2008-04-30T11:29:00.006-05:00

Australians are sure to be upset about the Chinese ban on foreign food for the 2008 Olympics. Containers en route to Beijing are about to be rejected by customs officials.

Hey, if I had the power to turn away a shipload of Vegemite, I'd do the same thing too. This stuff looks like axle grease, tastes like plain yeast (but certainly not like beer), smells like rotten beef that's been sitting in a moldy, humid, shady Chicago alley for 3 months . . . I just can't describe it.

That said, it's probably how the Aussies view Cheese Whiz, Spam, eggnog, and chili cheese Fritos. Yum.

-10-key princess

Now THIS is creative

2008-04-28T10:18:00.005-05:00

So my last post poked a little fun at a new KFC ad campaign that I thought was not terribly creative, but rather boring and gimmicky.

Well this morning, during my daily routine of seeing what's going on in the land of pop culture, I came across something that I think is absolutely brilliant. And hilarious. And innovative. And fresh.

Joshua Allen Harris, an artist in New York City, has tied bags to NYC subway grates so that when the trains roll by, the bags come to life from the rush of air. Check it out below, beginning with a story from the AP on the concept, followed by video capturing some of the art he's created.

When I was in school, one of my teachers said something to me after seeing an ad I had done that he really liked. It's really simple. He said that you know when an idea is a really good, creative idea because when you see it, you think to yourself, "Man, I wish I had thought of that."

Man, I wish I had thought of that.

-JT

That Colonel Sanders is one clever fellow

2008-04-25T10:26:00.007-05:00

A few years ago, KFC made ad news when they ran a commercial that, when watched on on DVR framb-by-frame, revealed a hidden message that entitled viewers who caught it to get a coupon for a free chicken sandwich. Read an article about it here, and view the TV commercial in the article's inset.

Frankly, I thought it was a dumb idea. But that's just me.

Anyway, that wily Colonel is up to his old tricks again. As part of a new campaign for their $0.99 Chicken Snacker, they are running ads in magazines, in-store and on TV with a hidden image. If viewers find that hidden image, they can go to the KFC site and redeem their find for a free coupon for said sandwich. See if you can find the image in the ad below that's running in restaurants:

Again, I think it's a dumb idea. It's too gimmicky. But it didn't stop me from searching to try and find the image. And I couldn't find it. So I showed my (non-gay) partner at work, who plays the art director (pictures) to my role as a copywriter (words), and he found it in about 4 seconds. Of course he did.

Leave it to the good Colonel to make me look bad.

-JT

Creepy Stuff You Find on Craigslist

2008-04-22T21:43:00.007-05:00

So, I was perusing Craigslist tonight and came across this post:

************

urn/ashes optional (mt prospect)

Reply to: sale-644079100@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-16, 12:06AM CDT

I am looking for an urn to use as a unit on death for school. If they have ashes I would like to have a pic of the person that is in there and a brief history of that person
************

Just a few things I'd like to comment on:
1. Please, please use correct grammar. Put a period after "person." Please.
2. Why did this person feel compelled to post at 12:06 a.m.?
3. "A unit on death for school." WHAT?
4. Are you really interested in the "person that is in there" enough to sit through a lengthy narrative?
5. If you need to ask the general Craigslist-viewing public for an urn with ashes, do you honestly think they're going to trust a complete stranger with the remains of their loved one?
6. Seriously, this is so creepy, I can't go on.

-10-key princess

Another Reason to Love Facebook

2008-04-20T21:23:00.003-05:00

Someone posted this on my Facebook fun wall tonight:

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too.

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

And JT says that Facebook won't improve his quality of life.
-SM

A 5.2? And That's News?

2008-04-19T00:41:00.004-05:00

A 5.2 magnitude earthquake "rocked" southern Illinois today (102 years to the day since the Great San Francisco Quake) and made headline news.

California born and raised, I guess I just find that funny. I was around when the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake rocked the Bay Area - the quake that interrupted the Battle of the Bay World Series, caused the Bay Bridge to collapse, and made overpasses crumble into pieces. I grew up having an earthquake drill every other week, knowing how to duck and cover, hold onto the desk with one hand, and cover my head/neck with the other. I still never hang a heavy mirror or picture frame above the bed. We have a flashlight and spare shoes by the bed in case windows start to break and we have to make a quick escape. I learned at age 10 how to turn off the gas and water supply lines to our house.

That said - with all of these practical skills, I still don't know what to do when a tornado siren goes off. Anyone?

-SM

He's alive!

2008-04-18T17:54:00.005-05:00

Ever since his mysterious disappearance during my childhood, I just assumed Frankenberry was gone forever. It turns out he's just been in his basement hanging out and throwing down a few beers with the Trix Rabbit, Count Chocula, Cap'n Crunch and Tony The Tiger.

I hope he's happy.

-JT

Ordering a pizza in 2010

2008-04-16T15:11:00.002-05:00

This video about what it will be like to order a pizza in 2010 is funny and creepy. And probably more likely to be true in 2030.

-JT

Help JT Decide!

2008-04-14T16:29:00.004-05:00

JT's buying some new shoes. I told him the top pair (yellow/brown) look like toilet shoes. But which do you prefer?

-10-key princess

Who Needs a Truck?

2008-04-14T16:19:00.003-05:00

-10-key princess

The backlash has begun

2008-04-14T13:05:00.005-05:00

It's about time.

I've managed to keep myself from joining the 'book, much to the dismay of everyone out there who's been dying to poke, super-poke or bite me. And my quality of life hasn't even suffered.

-JT

What Bra Sizes Really Mean - 100th understandbetter Post

2008-04-09T21:30:00.005-05:00

From an e-mail I got from a mom in our playgroup:

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely There...
{C} Can't Complain!...
{D} Dang!...
{DD} Double Dang!...
{E} Enormous!...
{F} Fake...
{G} Get a Reduction...
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!...

-SM

Finally a valid reason why models obsess about their weight

2008-04-09T13:38:00.005-05:00

Poor girl - as if the fashion industry wasn't enough to make a model become anorexic.

-JT

Kansas didn't win; Memphis lost

2008-04-09T11:58:00.007-05:00

It's taken me a day to recover, but now that I'm good, I thought I'd share. I'll start by saying that I love March Madness. Best sporting event of the year.

And every year, for about the 10 years, I've joined an NCAA Tournament pool that's run by a doctor that works with my mom at a hospital in the Chicago suburbs. This pool isn't your typical $5 entry fee, $100 payout. This is serious business. The guy gets over 200 entries, each at $20 a bracket (plus $10 if you buy insurance, which I won't get into). There are payouts for the leaders at the end of the 1st weekend ($200), at the end of the 2nd weekend ($400) and then for 1st through 5th place once the tournament is over. The breakdown is as follows:

1st place - $1800
2nd place - $900
3rd place - $650
4th place - $425
5th place - $350
last place - they get their money back

Well, going into Monday night's championship game between Memphis and Kansas, yours truly was in first place by 1 point. If Memphis wins the game, I take the $1800. But if they lose, I drop out of the top 5 (to somewhere like 16th place) and win nothing. Needless to say, I was a little amped at work on Monday.

I thought it would be entertaining for my friends to see me hang on every single play as it unfolded, so I invited a bunch of them to come watch the game with me at a neighborhood bar. And believe me, they were entertained. Just like the game, I was up and down - elated one minute, head in my hands the next.

Memphis was up nine with two minutes to go, and it was looking good. But from that point on, they played tentatively when they could have been aggressive and finished off the Jayhawks. And Kansas came back, forced OT, and Memphis lost. Which meant I lost too.

I was bummed. And then my mom, lovely lady that she is, calls me the next morning to talk about the game, which had to have been the first basketball game that I didn't play in that she watched from start to finish. We're talking, she's sharing in my pain, and then she drops this on me - the person who ended up winning was an 8 year-old girl who plays on the same basketball team as the son of the doctor who runs the pool. A freaking 8 year-old girl!

I just started laughing. "Of course she was," I said. My mom's retort, "Well, Jon (the doctor) says she's a hoops nut and that she picked all the games herself."

Wonderful - that makes me feel a whole lot better. Maybe I should consult little Miss Olivia next year before filling out my brackets.

-JT

Lick Those Lips, David Archuleta

2008-04-08T22:37:00.006-05:00

Another amazing David Archuleta performance on Idol tonight. I think I love him a little bit more every week.

I fished around youtube and found a performance he did of the same song - Angels - pre-American Idol.

His performance starts around 1:10. Enjoy. Over and over and over.
-SM

Science Saturday - The Ruthless Gene is discovered

2008-04-05T07:37:00.001-05:00

Some world leaders might have something in common.

A side of pandas rarely seen...

2008-04-04T19:14:00.000-05:00

An awkward moment between mother and son

2008-04-04T09:29:00.004-05:00

In keeping with the advertising theme, there's a new commercial that's out for m&m's that I just love. I've probably watched it about 15 times in the last few days, and each time I laugh as if I were watching it for the first time. Yeah, I know...I'm really cool.

Anyway, take a look:

-JT

Gotta love YesButNoButYes

2008-04-01T09:52:00.004-05:00

Not sure how many of you have seen the Canadian Club Whiskey ads that have been out for a while now, but they're pretty good. They were done by an agency in Chicago and have a late 70s/early 80s style to them, both in the way the copy was written and with the visuals. I heard that the photographs used were actual pictures from employees' photo albums, which help give the ads their authenticity. Here's an example of one:

To build off of the campaign, Canadian Club is allowing you to upload your own pictures to their layouts to make your own personal ads. Pretty smart. The funny guys and girls at YesButNoButYes decided to take liberties with the site, using pop culture as their guide. Take a look here.

So funny. And so appropriate.

-JT

I'm siiiiiiiinging in the raaaaaiiiiiin...

2008-03-30T04:42:00.002-05:00

This musical number has been interrupted to bring you a special announcement from Gene Kelly's wife who wants a liberal NY Times columnist to apologize for using Bush and her late husband in the same sentence together. Ouch.

Science Saturday II - a shocking find

2008-03-29T06:16:00.003-05:00

This is kind of cool, but that people test this seems creepy to me...

Science saturday I - Skinny people have it easier

2008-03-29T06:06:00.003-05:00

“Dieticians are tested on this idea; textbooks quote it. But no one could tell me where it came from.”

A campaign is said to age people, but...

2008-03-26T12:11:00.004-05:00

I know there's a lot of talk going on right now about the whole Bosnia "I misspoke" thing, which probably is more important than mentioning that Hillary is long overdue for an appointment with her Botox specialist. But she is. Long, long overdue.

-SM

Oregon Takes the Cake

2008-03-26T11:59:00.001-05:00

Two "weird news" labels in one day? Oregon's on a roll.

-SM

Baby for Tweak

2008-03-26T11:49:00.003-05:00

I'm speechless.

-SM

Still holding out hope

2008-03-25T09:43:00.004-05:00

When I was in elementary school, we did this project where we each wrote a note that was then put inside a balloon. The balloon was then filled with helium and released, free to travel the world and choose someone out there to be the recipient of my note.

For all these years, I was sure that my balloon got tangled in some telephone wires or just popped after hitting a tree branch no more than 200 feet from my school, the note torn to shreds by some birds looking to build a new nest. But this story gives me renewed hope. Sure, this girl used a bottle instead of a balloon (wise choice). And yes, she dropped her bottle in the ocean (smart move). But now, 21 years later, her note was found. And the guy who found her bottle got in touch with her. Pretty cool.

Somewhere, my note is out there. And maybe someday, it'll reach its destination. I just hope that when it does, my note wasn't something like this.

-JT

Pods.

2008-03-24T16:50:00.000-05:00

Pods = Procrastination.

Jack Bauer's Revenge on Canada

2008-03-20T15:42:00.005-05:00

Looks like Jack's upset since 24 isn't airing until 2009. But this time, he's taking it out on his own people.

It seems like something comes up every day that makes me lose a bit of respect for our neighbors to the north.

-10-key princess

No stone left unturned

2008-03-19T11:31:00.003-05:00

In case you were wondering if every single topic imaginable has been covered by one blog or another, I think we have our answer - Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.

-JT

Dream Big

2008-03-17T14:24:00.007-05:00

Remember those days in school when we'd each go around and tell the rest of the class what we wanted to be when we grew up? And response after response would be the same? "Baseball player." "Doctor." "Firefighter." "Lawyer." Each one more cliche than the previous one. Well, not anymore.

Could you imagine being the teacher whose student showed her this? If nothing else, at least she can take comfort in the fact that kids still look up to their parents. Mom must be so proud.

-JT

Desperate Princesses

2008-03-16T21:11:00.001-05:00

-SM

Hey, It's Tradition

2008-03-16T00:51:00.010-05:00

I treated my niece and nephew to see the dyeing of the river today, followed by a jaunt to Grant Park for the famous parade.

My 8-year old nephew asked me exactly what implications this had on the environment. I had to do some research. Apparently, it's not harmful. Apparently.

My answer to him at the time: "I don't know if this is bad for the river or not, but hey, it's tradition."

What a Republican answer.

-10-key princess

Happy St. Patrick's Day From Eliot Spitzer

2008-03-15T15:38:00.004-05:00

I was bored so I made this today.

You can make your own by clicking on the "create your own" link above. Duh.

-JT

Science Saturday - II

2008-03-15T10:14:00.001-05:00

For a bonus, a lesson on second order polynomials.

Science Saturday - Alligator

2008-03-15T09:50:00.001-05:00

I'm sure Tee-hee has no comment.

The Fine Print

2008-03-14T15:14:00.004-05:00

After talking with JT today, I did a quick search for the fine print on the Virgin Mobile ad. Here it is:
Gotta love the way Canadian ad agencies use outed American prostitute-seeking politicians to their advantage.

-10-key princess

Here they come

2008-03-14T13:23:00.007-05:00

A new Virgin Mobile ad running in Canada:
Don't you just love advertising sometimes? Or, in my case, all the time? I'm sure this isn't the last ad we'll see using Mr. Spitzer as the butt of a joke.

-JT

Was St. Patrick a Republican?

2008-03-14T12:41:00.003-05:00

There once were two cats of Kilkenny
Each thought there was one cat too many
So they fought and they fit, and they scratched and they bit
Till excepting their nails and the tips of their tails
Instead of two cats there weren't any.

-10-key princess

Brave commenters should post what they think this is an ad for before clicking...

2008-03-13T16:44:00.007-05:00

Another lovely meme brought from the slow-publishing folks at memepool. I particularly like the shadenfreunde of watching the actors visibly do their best to pretend that this commercial was not going to be something will regret.

Ad from Eliot Spitzer's 2006 campaign for New York governor

2008-03-13T11:20:00.006-05:00

Who else finds this just a tad ironic?

-JT

Dieses ist ganz verrückt!

2008-03-13T11:12:00.002-05:00

Ok...Germany just fell down a notch for me. I guess nobody is perfect...

M, ty 4 b!

2008-03-12T23:31:00.006-05:00

To the elusive "M" who had a scrumptious breakfast delivered to my door this morning, thank you. What a nice way to start off this day. (Michael, if it's you, you have an impeccable memory!)

M, D, L, K, R, and all of my fantastic friends and family . . . your thank-you cards are in the mail.

-10-key princess

Oprah Tickets

2008-03-12T17:36:00.004-05:00

As a Chicago transplant, the first question all of our family and friends asked when we moved here was, "Have you seen Oprah yet?"

The answer? No.

I wasn't there when Tom Cruise maniacally jumped on Oprah's pretty leather couches, nor was I there when she gave away Spanx on her Favorite Things show. I didn't even score tickets to see Dr. Oz talk about poop or Nate Berkus share soothing stories about Fernando. And yes, to be clear, I'm somewhat disappointed that even though we live just minutes away, we still haven't had any run-ins with THE Oprah.

My husband just forwarded me this website for a company that calls and calls and calls on your behalf until they get through to the studio, guaranteeing tickets for you and three friends. The service fee for 4 tickets? $999. And that's probably not inclusive of Chicago's already-steep sales tax.

Why didn't I think of that first? Smart entrepreneurs!

-SM

Marumushi

2008-03-11T23:43:00.004-05:00

This is the most visually fascinating news application ever.
Brilliant. But don't worry, beloved Drudge... I'll still remain loyal.

-10-key princess